A Prayer That Transforms Our Marriages, Our Families, Our World

The world is a mess! Marriages are crumbling and families are falling apart. Governments are collapsing while citizens die in the streets they called "home." Who is to blame for this? Well, if you listen to politicians or to a domestic dispute; it's, most likely, "the other guy."

People are so quick to point the finger at someone else instead of asking God to point the finger at them.

The Psalmist David got it right when he wrote Psalm 139: "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life."

As we ask God to search us, know us, test us, point out what offends, and lead us, we'll change and so will our marriages, our families, and our world. Now, that's a splash of serenity we could all use! Thanks, David. Thanks, God.

Do you know a prayer that transforms or have a testimony of how prayer transformed your marriage or family? Please share what God did for you.  

Splashes of Serenity prayed for your day!

Elaine

Ten Ways To Put More Love and More Life Into Your Love Life

My book's title, We All Married Idiots, grabs people's attention. But the meat of this book is found in the sub-title, Three Things You Will Never Change About Your Marriage and Ten Things You Can.

Using the chapter titles of the Ten Things You Can, I hope you enjoy my spin on the ten ways you can put more love and more life into your love life. Have fun!



1. Loosen Up! Ask someone what first attracted them to their spouse and the answer may be, "Their smile." So loosen up! Laugh! Smile! Nothing says "Kiss me!" more than a happy face.

2. Strip Down! Oops! Did I say that? No. God did. In Hebrews 12:1 (NLT) He says,

 ". . . let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up."

We need to strip ourselves of sin that makes us unattractive to God and to our lovers. Sins like grumbling, lust, anger . . . all sin; you name it, keeps our bedrooms from being the happy place God intended.

3. Let Go! Thoughts of  laundry to do, Billy's homework isn't done, what should I make for dinner, problems at the office, all can occupy our minds during love making.  Don't bring your "to do" list to the bedroom. I guarantee while making love, you won't be able to do any of it. So, let go of these thoughts, concentrate on your lover, and enjoy!

4. Hold On! Your honey wants to get frisky, but your honey's character flaws turn you off. No one is perfect. Don't let thoughts of your sweetheart's failures enter your mind while making love. This is the time to hold on to the good and remember all the wonderful traits you love about your spouse.

5. Settle Down! Angry? Well, settle down. Anger has no place in your marriage bed.  Sexual abstinence will not solve your marital difficulties. Settle anger outside the bedroom walls because your bedroom is reserved as your play ground not your boxing ring.

6. Make Nice! Making nice is foreplay for the night ahead. No one wants to make love with a mate who makes mean. Remember, your lover desires to be treasured, not trampled.

7. Cheer On! If you want an example of cheering on your lover during lovemaking, read Solomon's Song of Songs. Wow! For example, "How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves. How handsome you are, my lover! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant." Song of Songs 1: 15-16. Words of affection and affirmation do much to cheer your honey on toward sexual pleasure.

8. Sit Tight! There really are times your beloved has a headache. Understanding and treating your love  tenderly during "headache" days will reap future rewards in your love life. Sit tight, be patient, and wait for a better day.

9. Give up! There will be days you won't desire your spouse, but your spouse desires you. I suggest you give up and ask God to give you passion for your husband or wife.  God says, "Husbands and wives should satisfy each other's sexual needs . . . Don't withhold yourselves from each other unless you agree to do so for a set time to devote yourselves to prayer. Then you should get back together. . . " 1 Corinthians 7: 3, 5. Prayer is an amazing power God gives to us. As we pray and invite God into our bedroom, asking The Almighty to help us respond to our lover's desires, we may be shocked at His answer. Prayer before and during lovemaking is the best foreplay of all. God wants to bless your marriage bed. He really does! Just ask Him.

10. Look up! The sparks aren't flying. There's no desire at all. Now what should you do? Look up! Ask God to help you and your beloved enjoy sexual intimacy as He planned for a husband and a wife. Loosen up, strip down, let go, hold on, settle down, make nice, cheer on, sit tight, give up, and look up. I suspect God will give you a marriage relationship better than you ever asked or imagined.

I have a passion for marriages, which is why I love promoting my book, We All Married Idiots: Three Things You Will Never Change About Your Marriage and Ten Things You Can. Available wherever books are sold and on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/We-All-Married-Idiots-Marriage/dp/0984765522/

Splashes of Serenity and joy prayed for you and your beloved!

Married With Nothing In Common?

You'll soon know who is the idiot in my marriage!

Sharing with you an argument Dan and I had many years ago and the wise way he brought me to my senses.

"We have nothing in common!" I cried out, exhausted, discouraged, probably a bit angry about something that didn't go my way.

My sweet man responded with a gentle answer. "Sit down and I'll show you what we have in common. He found our wedding album, opened it and said,

"We have this day in common. We made the same vows. We have those promises in common. In fact, I'm going to say them to you again right now. And he did.

Then, he picked up our family photo album.

"We have these children in common. We both love them and want what is best for them."

Calmed, I forgot about my silliness and smiled at the man who chose to share life with me. Yes indeed, we did have a lot in common.

The next time you think you and your honey are miles apart, take a tip from my hubby and journey through the photo album.

Of course, this won't work for serious issues that need to be discussed, but for the day-to-day-I'm-too-tired-to-deal-with-life spat, reminiscing works swell.

Need a splash of serenity on your marriage? Enjoy those wedding photos on a dreary day.

Protecting Your Marriage From Sexual Misconduct

When My husband Dan started a secular job over forty years ago, his boss took him aside and whispered the names of women in the office he could have sexually. Dan walked away and kept his eyes, his hands, and his mind on the work he was hired to do.  Never before had the in-your-face wickedness of the world so threatened our marriage. When the office Christmas party invitation arrived on Dan's desk, he was told "Spouses not invited."

"I don't go to parties without my wife." Dan explained to his co-workers and to me. 

We went to the party together. I was the only spouse at a celebration of Christmas which included dinner, dancing, drinking, and too much coziness between co-workers.

The next Christmas we attended the dinner/dance/drink and were happy to see that this time a few others ignored the "No Spouses Invited" rule and brought their mates.

When we take a stand for marriage, others join us. Won't you?

Sexual misconduct can be blatant and it can be subtle. 

A wink of an eye. 

A lingering touch. 

A flirtatious glance. 

A conversation too personal for anyone but your spouse.  

Protecting yourself and your marriage from the damage of sexual misconduct requires setting guidelines for your life and living by them. 

Rev. David Linn, District Superintendent for the Christian and Missionary Alliance, offers the following common sense advice for keeping your marriage bed and your ministry pure (bold emphasis mine):

"1. Avoid all actual sins whether outward or in thought life. This is where the real battle is fought, as Paul wrote: “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it. Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry” (1 Cor. 10:13-14). Run from it, reveal your struggle to an accountability partner, put barriers in the way, restructure your life pattern, work in larger groups, or whatever necessary. Repent every time you fail and receive forgiveness. No excuses. Don’t ever tell yourself: This little sin really doesn’t matter.

2. Do everything you can in public. Take away the enhanced temptation of private space wherever possible. Hire a carpenter to put windows in church classrooms and office doors. Meet outside or over video chat if that helps. Make your own choices about this. Don’t merely follow what others do.

3. Observe personal space. Approach others with a measure of wise caution and watch for cues about what is comfortable for them. Everyone is different. Adjust as necessary. It doesn’t really matter what is comfortable for you.

 4. Kindly and assertively tell others what you want and do not want. 

5. If you are married, follow the cautions and reservations your spouse expresses about your relationships without hesitation or reservation. Whatever your loved one says goes, even if you do not understand it. You probably won’t. 

6. Respect the holy life patterns of others. Some do not wish to eat out together in twosomes, travel together, or minister together. You and I have no access to the inward history and life of others. It is their prerogative to make those decisions. Love your brothers and sisters by following their wishes without complaint. The expansion of the kingdom of God will not be slowed by wise and holy living.

7. Never let down your guard. Be prepared for temptations to come your way from both non-churched and churched people, both men and women. There is no genuinely safe space on earth. “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall” (1 Corinthians 10:12)."

 Sexual sin seems to make headlines daily. A few weak moments can destroy your marriage, your family, your ministry, your career, your finances, your children, your children's respect, your children's marriages. etc. etc. etc. 

The cost too high, the pain too deep, the damage irreplaceable.

Dan and I set boundaries for our marriage and we live by them. 

"Marriage should be honored by all, 

and the marriage bed kept pure, 

for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."  

Hebrews 13:4 (NIV) 

Bring splashes of serenity to your marriage by never giving a glance to or thought of another person other than your spouse. Take that stand today. Please. For the glory of God and the honor of  your marriage!

Staying Best Friends After You Marry

 

"Today I marry my best friend"

announces many wedding invitations . 

It's easy to marry your best friend, 

but how do you stay best friends after you marry?  

May these thoughts on marriage and friendship encourage you to be that best friend every husband (and every wife) desires and deserves.

1. Friends are loyal. God warned us in James 3:2 (GWT) that "All of us make a lot of mistakes." Surprise! Your honey is not perfect. He and you will make mistakes. If you are his friend, you will be quick to stand by him and forgive. Remember that he didn't wake up this morning with this thought: Woo Hoo! I wonder how many mistakes I can make today! Mistakes are not on his to-do list, but loving him in spite of them should be on yours.

2. Friends are kind. I've been to a lot of weddings and I've never heard this vow: I promise to make a note of everything you do that bothers me and remind you of it as long as we both shall live. That is not what we promise, but is that what we do? Without considering the consequences, we spew out words we wish we could stuff back in our mouths. Friends should be safe havens from the unpleasant side of life. It's a tough world out there. We need to be tender. 

3. Friends are cheerleaders. A wife fulfills a role that no one else can — that of her husband's cheerleader.  When the world knocks your man down, you need to pick him up and cheer him on. I remember my Dan coming home late from a difficult meeting. I pummeled him with questions. "What decisions were made? How did you respond?" Poor guy. He left one anxiety-ridden meeting and came home to another. Instead, I should have offered him assurance of my love in the form of a kiss, an embrace, and perhaps his favorite ice cream. I realized this truth when Dan took me in his arms, held me, and gently spoke, "I really need you to be my wife, not my boss." Lesson learned.

4. Friends spend time together. Early in our marriage Dan suggested that two times a year we go away alone together. I balked because of the expense and the time away from our children. Dan insisted and Dan was right. Now married 42 years, I realize we are best friends today because we guarded our couple time. If your husband has a hobby, join in. Dan loves to golf. I learned to love golf too. We work to find entertainment we enjoy together. Date nights are non-negotiable because friends make time to be together.

5. Friends build each other up. It's sad that some girlfriends find pleasure belittling their husbands. I've heard these friendship-ruining and marriage-killing conversations.  Don't participate in this activity. Either change the subject ("Everybody say one thing they LOVE about their husband!") or change your friends. Best friends don't ridicule each other in public or in private. They build each other up.

So, did you marry your best friend? I hope so. And I pray your friendship glows as you grow in love and life together. It takes work and discipline and self-sacrifice and it's worth it.

May your married life be filled with splashes of serenity!

Our Journey With Covid — Separation

Crushed.  Dan, who always protects, provides, and cares for me, felt helpless to care for me now.

Thank You, Lord, for facetime. We talked and talked and talked. Both of us knew the outcome of my bout with covid-19 may end in a funeral. Dan and I spoke words of love and thanksgiving we needed to say. How thankful I am for that opportunity. Those who die suddenly, never get a good-bye. We said good-bye. We planned my funeral (my idea, not Dan's). We laughed, we cried, we prayed, we sang. We held on to each other and clung to God together in heart, if not in body. We hoped. We trusted. We treasured our time.

Daily, Dan drove to the hospital so he could be as close to me as possible. Parked in the hospital parking lot, he cried out to God for my healing. He fasted and prayed for days. 

"The Covidland Casanova (as the nurses referred to Dan) delivered a daily gift to me, via the reception desk in the hospital lobby.  

Yes. We were separated, but in many ways we were closer than ever. We knew nothing could separate us from our love for each other or our love for God. The day we wed we became one. Oneness can not become two. 

"For I am convinced that

neither death nor life,

neither angels nor demons,

neither the present nor the future,

nor any powers,

neither height nor depth,

nor anything else in all creation,

will be able to separate us from

the love of God that is in

Christ Jesus."

Romans 8:38-39

As covid-19 invaded my lungs, Dan's love for me and my love for him filled our hearts. Oh, shame on us for ever taking for granted or overlooking the sweetness of married love and the speediness of life lived not treasuring every moment.

 Open your eyes, lovers! 

Let go of the stupid stuff that irritates.*   

Enjoy each other!

 Play!

 Laugh! 

Don't live with regrets. 

Don't wait! 

Love strong! 

Love deep! 

Love now!

*My book, We All Married Idiots: Three Things You Will Never Change About Your Marriage and Ten Things You Can, will help you esteem your spouse as a gift to treasure, not as an idiot to tolerate.

Happy loving!

55 Reasons Why We're Still Kissing 55 Years Later

"So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

Therefore what God  has joined together, let no man separate."

Matthew 19:6 NIV

Wow! Celebrating 55 years married to the most wonderful man in the world. How blessed we are to love and enjoy these years together. 

We didn't get it right all of the time. In fact, if you read We All Married Idiots, you'll understand there were times we almost threw our marriage away. I'm so glad we remained true to the vows we spoke through our happy tears 55 years ago. When the hurting tears came, our vows to God and to each other were the glue keeping our frayed marriage together.

As we celebrate our 55th Anniversary, I jotted down 55 ways (in no particular order) we got it right. In  hopes one will touch your heart and bless your marriage, I share them with you.

     1. Read your wedding vows and repeat to each other often.

     2. Go to bed at the same time whenever possible. The late-night pillow talk was precious and sometimes the only time we were alone during a busy day.

     3. Make intimacy a priority.

     4. Our marriage took priority over our children. We cherished our daughters and son and they knew they were loved. They also knew mom and dad loved each other, which brought joy and balance to our family.

     5. Be polite. My husband opened the car door for me when we dated and on our wedding day. He still does today. Those little courtesies mean a lot and speak volumes to our children.

     6. Date frequently. Your children will survive and thrive knowing mommy and daddy are going out just the two of them. Your child's greatest fear is that their parents will divorce. Seeing the two of you leave to enjoy each other may bring tears in the short run, but smiles for a lifetime.

     7. Vacation as a family. When you vacation together, you bond as a family. When another family is included in your plans, the kids bond with the other kids and not with each other or to their parents. An occasional vacation with friends is fun, but not every year.

     8. Overnight as a couple. Dan set as a priority that two weekends a year we get away together. I once said, "We can't afford this." He replied, "It's cheaper than a divorce." Dan was right.

     9. Your friends should never be more important than your spouse.

    10. Serve together at church or in the community. Find something you can do to work as a team.

    11. Discover activities and fun you can enjoy as a couple. I learned to love golf.

    12. Go on dates alone. Don't always go with another couple.

    13. Read Christian books on marriage. 

    14. Keep going to marriage retreats. This can be one of your weekends away.

    15. Your bedroom is your love sanctuary. Keep it clean and tidy and beautiful.

    16. Play romantic music and light candles. Make your home and your bedroom a retreat you both want to escape to.

    17. Do chores together. Raking leaves and shoveling snow is more fun as a twosome or a family.

    18. Seek ways to make each other's life better. Ask yourself What can I do to make my honey happy today.

    19. Celebrate big! Birthdays, Anniversaries, holidays are memory creators and make life fun.

    20. Be flexible. A rigid spouse is not very huggable.

    21. Practice kindness. Please and thank you never grow old. Kind people smile. So, smile. A lot.

    22. Be patient. Spouses and marriages need time to grow up.

    23. Consider your spouse before you consider yourself.

    24. Romance never grows old! Be creative and romantic and fun!

    25. Be content. Be happy with the person you married.

    26. Build your spouse up. Don't push or nag.

    27. Show and tell your spouse they are the most important person in your world.

    28. Plan surprises!

    29. Look nice at home and in bed.

    30. Sit close.

    31. Be present for big events whether a sick bed or a job promotion.

    32. Pray for each other. Pray for your marriage.

    33. Hold on during the bad times.

    34. Disagree, but don't disrespect.

    35. Choose your battles. Let go of the little irritations that don't matter.

    36. Hold hands.

    37. Fight fair. Stick to the subject of the dispute and never attack the person.

    38. Forgive and forget. Remember, we all make mistakes.

    39. Your spouse is not God, so don't expect perfection.

    40. Encourage their dreams.

    41. Avoid immorality of all kinds by watching and reading only uplifting, pro-marriage movies and television.

    42. Choose your friends wisely.

    43. Seek advice and counselling from Bible-believing, Godly pastors and friends.

    44. Remember: This too will pass. What upsets you today may be forgotten tomorrow.

    45. Leave your parents and cleave to your spouse.

    46. Live, act, and speak like a married person. Leave your single life behind.

    47. Don't belittle your spouse in public or private.

    48. Our children knew our marriage bed was where mommy and daddy slept, not them. I know this is controversial, but it was important in our marriage.

    49. Buy a lock for your bedroom door. Especially necessary when living with teens (for their sake and yours!).

    50. Always seek to glorify God in your marriage! Your marriage is not about you, but about God's glory.

    51. Every morning consider ways you can make like better for your spouse that day.

    52. Attend church together.

    53. Read the New Testament together one chapter a day.

    54. Encourage each other to never give up!

    55. Have patience with each other through the changing seasons of marriage.

I'm so glad we held on to each other when our marriage almost fell apart. Enduring love is the best! 

Happy Anniversary to us! Remembering the splashes of serenity and forgetting the mud and muck, we press on!

Fifty Years of Stains Washed Away

Fifty years ago, in a hurry to begin my married life and enjoy our wedding night, I carelessly threw my wedding gown (stained with wedding reception food, mascara dripping tears, and lipstick kisses that missed my cheeks) into a bag. Except for the few times my daughters and granddaughters played bride, the dress remained untouched and the stains stayed intact.

Next week we celebrate our Fiftieth Anniversary. For fifty years we've dreamed of this day and wondered if we would make it alive and/or still married. We are both alive, still married, and rejoicing at the blessing and satisfaction fifty years of marriage brings. An accomplishment we are thrilled to celebrate. Stay together dear ones. Marriage is worth it. 

For years we've discussed how we will celebrate this marriage milestone. "I'll take you anywhere in the world you want to go." Dan would. He loves to travel. But, here we are in a pandemic. Still quarantined due to my cancer and compromised immune system, we sit in Campbell, NY, population 320. Just the two of us sitting on a hill. What a blessing this time has been for us. No interruptions, meetings, deadlines. The pandemic was a gift of time. Time to talk. And pray. Really share about life and our joys and sorrows. We've had conversations we never would have had except we were shut in a house together for months not permitted to leave. I am thankful.

We haven't been in a store or a restaurant (or had a haircut) since February. I'm told to stay home. So I do. But, what about our anniversary? Can't travel. Can't dine out. In my pandemic world filled with "do not's," there are things we can do. Instead of ho-humming it,  Dan and I are planning a party in our home to celebrate with our children and grandchildren. I can't think of a lovelier way to celebrate the blessings of our marriage than with the gifts of family God gave to us. 

Now, back to the dress. I found my wedding dress (complete with stains) still in the same bag 50 years hence. Thinking the wedding dress should be a decoration for our party, I decided to wash it. What does it matter if it falls apart? I'll throw the dress and the veil in the washing machine (gentle cycle). 

Voila! I couldn't believe it! Just like that, all the stains were washed away. The dress and veil looks brand new. 

My first thought: Isn't that like marriage and isn't that like God. Marriage has stains. Ugly words we wish we had never said. A flirtatious wink we wish we could take back. Sin stains our lives, our marriages, our families, our testimonies. Sin stains. But God says, 

"'Come now, let us settle this,' says the Lord. 'Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow.'" Isaiah 1:18

Just like my wedding dress, we can be cleaned by the precious blood of Jesus Christ. Fifty years, 5 years, or 5 minutes of sins in marriage can be washed away in less time than a wash cycle. 

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9 

Let Jesus free you from the pandemic of sin. Ask His forgiveness, ask your beloved's forgiveness, turn from your wrong ways and enjoy the beauty of a new life and a fresh start to your marriage. The best anniversary news I could receive is that someone reads this, confesses their sin, and gives their heart and their marriage to Jesus.

Happy 50th Anniversary to us!

Is Your Spouse Getting on Your Nerves?

While you and your honey shelter in place, are you thinking I'm ready to shelter my honey off to another place! Be encouraged today as I share the first chapter from We All Married Idiots: Three Things You Will Never Change About Your Marriage and Ten Things You Can. 

My gift to you as Dan and I celebrate the 50th anniversary of the day we met!



Treasure your days together!

Elaine Shares Her Story as a Guest at the Extraordinary Faith Summit

 

What a blessing to share my faith, my writing, my marriage, and my cancer journey with Patricia Durgin at the Extraordinary Faith Summit. Thank you, Patricia, for this opportunity to show the world the power of Christ in a life. You can see and listen to the interview right here:

https://www.facebook.com/MarketersOnAMission/videos/138224097502294/

May these words bring a splash of serenity to your day!

2020 Extraordinary Faith Summit

Has your marriage hit the wall? Ours did. I'm excited to share how an extraordinary God kept us running our marriage race through the obstacles and through the wall to glorify Him with our marriage. #Married50Years this year! #SoGladWeStayed 

You won't want to miss this two week conference of extraordinary speakers and writers who trusted an extraordinary God to pull them through extraordinary circumstances (beginning March 2, 2020). My segment is live on Wednesday, March 4, 2020 at 3:00 EST. Details below.

Here's a Sneak Peek at The 2020 Extraordinary Faith Summit hosted by Marketers On A Mission​. It begins Monday, March 2nd / ends on Friday, March 13th. (Click image to enlarge.)

Please welcome our guests Dr. Michelle Bengtson, Linda Evans Shepherd, Elaine W. Miller, Shonda Savage Whitworth, Twila Belk - The Gotta Tell Somebody Gal, Melinda V Inman, Evelyn Kraemer Mann, Eva Marie Everson's Southern Novels, Katherine B. Barner, and Lynne Hartke, Author.

You can enroll (it's FREE!) and be encouraged by these sessions all year long! Details at: https://marketersonamission.com/ext-faith-2020/ — with Michelle Bengtson, Melinda Inman, Linda Evans Shepherd, Elaine W. Miller, Shonda Savage Whitworth, Lynne Hartke and Twila Belk.

Elaine Shares Her Life, Her Marriage, Her Cancer, Her Books, and Her God

What a treat sharing my heart and God story with Patricia Durgin, on Marketers on a Mission. Enjoy some laughs and some tears! Be blessed. Be encouraged.





Splashes of Serenity,

Elaine W. Miller's Book on Cancer Releasing in Fall 2018

Dearest friends and cancer warriors,

Cancer surprised me! I was thrown into the cancer community—not by my choice, but by God's plan. Little did I expect to receive some of the greatest lessons of my spiritual life as well as meet cancer heroes whose faith would increase mine.

God placed a desire in my heart to write a book encouraging cancer patients and those who love them to consider:

Cancer is not an obstacle in life, 

but an opportunity

 to love deeper, 

live fuller, 

laugh louder, 

sing sweeter, 

and shine brighter.

I am pleased to announce my new book (cover and title to be revealed in October), releasing in time for Christmas. 

Signing a publishing contract with Living Parables of Central Florida Books.

The book is in the capable hands of the publisher. Thank you to all who prayed me through the book-writing process. You are my heroes, lifting my arms when I had no strength to stand.

Tomorrow Dan and I leave for various locations to rest, love each other and our extended family, and celebrate our 48th anniversary—another anniversary we thought we would never see. How we thank God for His goodness to us and His sweet spirit of peace dwelling within us.

I'm doing great! My blood counts are normal and my heart beats for Jesus! Enjoy every moment, dear ones!

Life is worth living.

People are worth loving.

Smiles are worth smiling.

Laughter is gold.

May splashes of serenity fill your days,

My 2017 Christmas Wish List

"'Don't be Afraid!' he said. 'I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David!'" Luke 2:10

What a shock when I opened our Christmas decorations. Instead of thrown willy nilly into a glad-Christmas-is-over box, each ornament was wrapped with care and love. I realized that because of my cancer diagnosis, I had cherished and packed each trinket in the realization that last Christmas could be my last Christmas.

But God, who ordained the day of my birth and the day of my death, allowed me another year. I'm doing great, my blood counts are normal, I'm still writing and speaking and marveling at the ministry and marriage Dan and I continue to enjoy together. 

". . . Every day of my life was recorded in your book.

 Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed."

 Psalm 139:16 

Cancer has opened doors I would not have opened on my own. For this, I thank God, embrace the gift and the lessons I wish I had learned sooner.  

Now I realize each day is an ornament not to be thrown into the trash or the I-can't-wait-until-this-day-is-done box. Every moment is treasured as a gently wrapped memory in the ornament box of my mind, for every single breath is a gift placed on my tree of life.

What have I learned on this journey? 

Here's my 2017 Christmas wish list:

I wish I had loved more and judged less. 

Judging people robs me of time and joy. 

None of us know the whole story in anyone's life, even our own.

 I wish I had smiled more because 

smiles make me and the people around me happy.

 I wish I never had a grumpy day. 

Grumpy is a waste of time.

 I wish my eyes and mind had never let in negative, immoral, violent, 

God-dishonoring media that destroys mind and spirit. 

Life is too short to dwell in the garbage. 

I wish I spent every day in the eternal instead of the worry. 

God's got this. 

He's not worried and 

He doesn't need me to worry for Him.

This Christmas I choose to make my wishes reality as I thank God for His abundant and eternal joy gifts to me:

I thank God for a blessed life spent

 cherishing Dan, our children and 12 grandchildren, 

extended family and friends which includes YOU.

I thank God for placing a hunger within me for Himself and His Word. 

Reading the whole Bible multiple times and

 looking to Jesus and His teachings as my moral compass protected me.

I'm thankful our travels gave me a world view of, and love for, all people.

I'm thankful I believe Jesus is my Lord and my Savior, and that 

I surrendered my life to Him for He is true to 

His promise of eternal life in Heaven and abundant life on earth. 

A win/win!!!

I'm thankful I know 

The Baby of Christmas, 

The Teacher in the Temple, 

The Savior on the cross, and 

The Lord Who rose from the dead. 

I'm thankful God tells us to not be afraid because 

He is with us always. 

He holds us in our troubles and 

He never lets go. 

I know because He holds me.

Merry Christmas dear ones. I have every plan to see you next year, but if I don't or you don't, that's good too if we love Jesus.

 Hang your ornaments with care. Each one matters.

Merry Christmas love and lots of Splashes of Serenity in 2018!

Take a Stand and Stop Mocking Marriage

Ha! Do you find the calendar page funny? Did the thought for the day bring a chuckle? 

Since when and why did mocking marriage become a comedy instead of a tragedy?

My heart breaks for marriages.

My mother cautioned me against bad talk. "What you say is what you are." She warned. Her words ring true more so for married couples. Remember, you and your spouse are one flesh. The two of you became one on your wedding day. So, if you can't say anything nice about your spouse, well, you can't say anything nice about you.

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 

and the two will become one flesh. 

So they are no longer two, but one." Mark 10: 7-8

I'm done listening or reading or partaking in the abuse of marriage. I want to stand for marriage, not mock the sacred union created by God.

Will you stand with me?

Will you stand and walk away from any talk where a spouse is belittled?

Will you take a stand and not partake in the laughter of any conversation mocking marriage?

Will you stand and turn off media when the "entertainment" ridicules marriage?

Will you stand up for your spouse and focus on the good instead of remembering the bad?

Will you stand by your beloved and not give a wink or a flirtatious nod to another?

Will you stand alone and refuse to attend an after-hours office gathering without your spouse?

Will you stand firm in your commitment to your marriage?

Will you stand in a decision to never say a disrespectful word or think a disrespectful thought about your husband/wife?

Will you stand and promise to pray daily for your spouse and your marriage?

Will you stand to always cherish and never chastise your mate?

I sound like a radical.

 Well, I guess I am. 

  I see a radical shift against marriage in these days.

So, I stand to radically change the world's view of the sacred blessing God gave when He gave us the gift of marriage. 

Will you stand with me?

This Thanksgiving, let us all stand for marriage and family. Take a stand and thank God for every dear trait your loved ones display. Share your "I love you because . . . " with each person around your table and have a Blessed Thanksgiving!

Will you take a stand for marriage? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thanks.

Our lives know splashes of serenity when our words say blessings to those we marry,

Mentoring in the Marriage Season Guest Blog

In her powerful book Mentoring for All Seasons,

 Janet Thompson writes of the value of mentoring through all seasons of life, 

including the marriage season. 

I was thrilled to learn Janet recommends my book 

We All Married Idiots as a resource for mentoring marriages.

 If you desire your life and marriage to grow into the likeness of Christ, 

give Mentoring for All Seasons a read. 

Thank you Janet Thompson for writing life-changing books

 and agreeing to share words straight from your heart.

Learn from Janet Thompson's wisdom as a mentor and a mentee:

"That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.—Genesis 2:24

As women, we’re continually coming out of one life season and going into the next. You may have experienced the blessing of having a mentor in the changing seasons of your life, or long for a mentor. Those with experience in a season can reach out and offer counsel, support, prayer, and God’s wisdom. Mentoring is that easy.

Some women have had the blessing of the same mentor from newlywed years to seasoned married years, and others have found mentors for specific phases of the marriage season.

Newlywed to 50+ Years Mentoring

Maybe you looked at this heading and thought: Needs are different for newlyweds than couples married twenty-five or fifty years. True. The specific details will differ, but the basic truths keeping a marriage on solid ground remain the same regardless of years together.

The marriage season covers a wide spectrum, but the principles of mentoring remain the same because God’s Word regarding marriage, communication, finances, family . . . never changes . . . and God’s Word is the foundation for every mentoring relationship, which is always two way.

I once heard a mentor say her mentee was a newlywed, and since she herself had been married twenty-five years, she expected to be sharing tips about married life with her mentee. But with a wink, she said the mentee taught her a few things about putting a “kick” back into her own marriage!

Marital Problems

Marriage is between two imperfect people, who will always disappoint and disillusion each other unless they keep perfect Jesus at the center of their relationship. That might sound like a bold statement, and certainly many Christian marriages fail, probably because they didn’t keep Jesus at the center of every decision, discussion, and disagreement.

Many issues subject a couple to divisive onslaughts attacking a marriage: finances, parenting, jealousy, in-laws, personalities, loneliness, illness, outside attractions, work . . . daily life. Statistics of crumbling marriages—even among Christians—indicate Satan is winning the spiritual battle in many homes because couples haven’t armed themselves with the only effective offensive weapon—the sword of the Spirit—the Word of God.

How many marriages might elude divorce if spouses had mentors praying for and with them, teaching them how to study their Bibles daily, and showing them how to put God back on the throne in their marriage and family?

Mentoring for All Seasons

In Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness, sixty-five women share their mentor or mentee testimonies, along with my own personal experiences, helpful tips for mentors and mentees will guide women in how to connect and nurture each other in mentoring relationships, as a mentor or a mentee from tweens to twilight years. There are Scriptures for each season to help guide the discussion to God’s Word.

Mentoring for all Seasons is a reference, application, and coaching tool for a mentor or mentee traversing life’s journey together as Titus 2:3-5 instructs us to do.

³ Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. ⁴ Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, ⁵ to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Mentors don’t have all the answers, but God does!

Excerpts from Mentoring for All Seasons used with permission of Leafwood Publishers.

Janet Thompson is an international speaker, freelance editor, and award-winning author of nineteen books including her latest, Mentoring for All Seasons: Sharing Life Experiences and God’s Faithfulness, available at all Christian bookstores, online book stores, Amazon, and signed by Janet at her website store, where you can see more of her books.

She is also the founder of Woman to Woman Mentoring and About His Work Ministries. Janet and her husband Dave relocated their empty nest from Southern California to the rural mountains of Idaho, where Janet writes and they love watching the deer frolic in their yard.

Sign up for Janet’s Monday Morning Blog and online newsletter at womantowomanmentoring.com. You can also visit Janet at:

www.facebook.com/Janetthompson.authorspeaker

http://www.linkedin.com/in/womantowomanmentoring/

www.pinterest.com/thompsonjanet

https://twitter.com/AHWministries

Instagram: Janetahw"

Thanks for being my guest blogger, Janet. 

Mentoring and being mentored both bring splashes of serenity to our souls! 

Enjoy your mentoring journey and buy Janet's book!