Tuesday, March 14, 2023

Staying Best Friends After You Marry


"Today I marry my best friend"

announces many wedding invitations . 

It's easy to marry your best friend, 

but how do you stay best friends after you marry?  

May these thoughts on marriage and friendship encourage you to be that best friend every husband (and every wife) desires and deserves.

1. Friends are loyal. God warned us in James 3:2 (GWT) that "All of us make a lot of mistakes." Surprise! Your honey is not perfect. He and you will make mistakes. If you are his friend, you will be quick to stand by him and forgive. Remember that he didn't wake up this morning with this thought: Woo Hoo! I wonder how many mistakes I can make today! Mistakes are not on his to-do list, but loving him in spite of them should be on yours.

2. Friends are kind. I've been to a lot of weddings and I've never heard this vow: I promise to make a note of everything you do that bothers me and remind you of it as long as we both shall live. That is not what we promise, but is that what we do? Without considering the consequences, we spew out words we wish we could stuff back in our mouths. Friends should be safe havens from the unpleasant side of life. It's a tough world out there. We need to be tender. 

3. Friends are cheerleaders. A wife fulfills a role that no one else can — that of her husband's cheerleader.  When the world knocks your man down, you need to pick him up and cheer him on. I remember my Dan coming home late from a difficult meeting. I pummeled him with questions. "What decisions were made? How did you respond?" Poor guy. He left one anxiety-ridden meeting and came home to another. Instead, I should have offered him assurance of my love in the form of a kiss, an embrace, and perhaps his favorite ice cream. I realized this truth when Dan took me in his arms, held me, and gently spoke, "I really need you to be my wife, not my boss." Lesson learned.

4. Friends spend time together. Early in our marriage Dan suggested that two times a year we go away alone together. I balked because of the expense and the time away from our children. Dan insisted and Dan was right. Now married 42 years, I realize we are best friends today because we guarded our couple time. If your husband has a hobby, join in. Dan loves to golf. I learned to love golf too. We work to find entertainment we enjoy together. Date nights are non-negotiable because friends make time to be together.

5. Friends build each other up. It's sad that some girlfriends find pleasure belittling their husbands. I've heard these friendship-ruining and marriage-killing conversations.  Don't participate in this activity. Either change the subject ("Everybody say one thing they LOVE about their husband!") or change your friends. Best friends don't ridicule each other in public or in private. They build each other up.

So, did you marry your best friend? I hope so. And I pray your friendship glows as you grow in love and life together. It takes work and discipline and self-sacrifice and it's worth it.

May your married life be filled with splashes of serenity!

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I would love hearing from you! Thanks for sharing!