Ten Ways To Put More Love and More Life Into Your Love Life

My book's title, We All Married Idiots, grabs people's attention. But the meat of this book is found in the sub-title, Three Things You Will Never Change About Your Marriage and Ten Things You Can.

Using the chapter titles of the Ten Things You Can, I hope you enjoy my spin on the ten ways you can put more love and more life into your love life. Have fun!



1. Loosen Up! Ask someone what first attracted them to their spouse and the answer may be, "Their smile." So loosen up! Laugh! Smile! Nothing says "Kiss me!" more than a happy face.

2. Strip Down! Oops! Did I say that? No. God did. In Hebrews 12:1 (NLT) He says,

 ". . . let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up."

We need to strip ourselves of sin that makes us unattractive to God and to our lovers. Sins like grumbling, lust, anger . . . all sin; you name it, keeps our bedrooms from being the happy place God intended.

3. Let Go! Thoughts of  laundry to do, Billy's homework isn't done, what should I make for dinner, problems at the office, all can occupy our minds during love making.  Don't bring your "to do" list to the bedroom. I guarantee while making love, you won't be able to do any of it. So, let go of these thoughts, concentrate on your lover, and enjoy!

4. Hold On! Your honey wants to get frisky, but your honey's character flaws turn you off. No one is perfect. Don't let thoughts of your sweetheart's failures enter your mind while making love. This is the time to hold on to the good and remember all the wonderful traits you love about your spouse.

5. Settle Down! Angry? Well, settle down. Anger has no place in your marriage bed.  Sexual abstinence will not solve your marital difficulties. Settle anger outside the bedroom walls because your bedroom is reserved as your play ground not your boxing ring.

6. Make Nice! Making nice is foreplay for the night ahead. No one wants to make love with a mate who makes mean. Remember, your lover desires to be treasured, not trampled.

7. Cheer On! If you want an example of cheering on your lover during lovemaking, read Solomon's Song of Songs. Wow! For example, "How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves. How handsome you are, my lover! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant." Song of Songs 1: 15-16. Words of affection and affirmation do much to cheer your honey on toward sexual pleasure.

8. Sit Tight! There really are times your beloved has a headache. Understanding and treating your love  tenderly during "headache" days will reap future rewards in your love life. Sit tight, be patient, and wait for a better day.

9. Give up! There will be days you won't desire your spouse, but your spouse desires you. I suggest you give up and ask God to give you passion for your husband or wife.  God says, "Husbands and wives should satisfy each other's sexual needs . . . Don't withhold yourselves from each other unless you agree to do so for a set time to devote yourselves to prayer. Then you should get back together. . . " 1 Corinthians 7: 3, 5. Prayer is an amazing power God gives to us. As we pray and invite God into our bedroom, asking The Almighty to help us respond to our lover's desires, we may be shocked at His answer. Prayer before and during lovemaking is the best foreplay of all. God wants to bless your marriage bed. He really does! Just ask Him.

10. Look up! The sparks aren't flying. There's no desire at all. Now what should you do? Look up! Ask God to help you and your beloved enjoy sexual intimacy as He planned for a husband and a wife. Loosen up, strip down, let go, hold on, settle down, make nice, cheer on, sit tight, give up, and look up. I suspect God will give you a marriage relationship better than you ever asked or imagined.

I have a passion for marriages, which is why I love promoting my book, We All Married Idiots: Three Things You Will Never Change About Your Marriage and Ten Things You Can. Available wherever books are sold and on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/We-All-Married-Idiots-Marriage/dp/0984765522/

Splashes of Serenity and joy prayed for you and your beloved!

Our Journey With Covid — Separation

Crushed.  Dan, who always protects, provides, and cares for me, felt helpless to care for me now.

Thank You, Lord, for facetime. We talked and talked and talked. Both of us knew the outcome of my bout with covid-19 may end in a funeral. Dan and I spoke words of love and thanksgiving we needed to say. How thankful I am for that opportunity. Those who die suddenly, never get a good-bye. We said good-bye. We planned my funeral (my idea, not Dan's). We laughed, we cried, we prayed, we sang. We held on to each other and clung to God together in heart, if not in body. We hoped. We trusted. We treasured our time.

Daily, Dan drove to the hospital so he could be as close to me as possible. Parked in the hospital parking lot, he cried out to God for my healing. He fasted and prayed for days. 

"The Covidland Casanova (as the nurses referred to Dan) delivered a daily gift to me, via the reception desk in the hospital lobby.  

Yes. We were separated, but in many ways we were closer than ever. We knew nothing could separate us from our love for each other or our love for God. The day we wed we became one. Oneness can not become two. 

"For I am convinced that

neither death nor life,

neither angels nor demons,

neither the present nor the future,

nor any powers,

neither height nor depth,

nor anything else in all creation,

will be able to separate us from

the love of God that is in

Christ Jesus."

Romans 8:38-39

As covid-19 invaded my lungs, Dan's love for me and my love for him filled our hearts. Oh, shame on us for ever taking for granted or overlooking the sweetness of married love and the speediness of life lived not treasuring every moment.

 Open your eyes, lovers! 

Let go of the stupid stuff that irritates.*   

Enjoy each other!

 Play!

 Laugh! 

Don't live with regrets. 

Don't wait! 

Love strong! 

Love deep! 

Love now!

*My book, We All Married Idiots: Three Things You Will Never Change About Your Marriage and Ten Things You Can, will help you esteem your spouse as a gift to treasure, not as an idiot to tolerate.

Happy loving!

Say "I Love You" Every Time You Say Good Bye.

In my travels as a speaker, I am blessed to stay in the homes of lovely people. Many are precious   widows. I love hearing their stories, for they have much to teach me.

Some watched their beloved suffer over years. Other deaths were sudden. The blink of an eye and their sweetie was gone. Whether a long death or quick, they all were final, and they all remember one thing:

The last words their beloved spoke to them. 

Sitting around the kitchen table, talking over chamomile and honey, my widowed hostess and I     were eager for more conversation, but our eyes were drooping. We decided to do the wise thing and get a good sleep.

"Do you mind if I say good night to my hubby before I turn in?" my widowed hostess asked.

She hit the "1" on the answering machine. The male voice echoed "Hi honey! I'm going to bed  now. I hope you have a good sleep. Good night. I love you."

"Those were his last words to me. I listen to him say 'I love you" every night before I go to sleep"

 He died years ago, and his loving voice still brings her joy as she heads to her empty bed.

Tears flowed as I witnessed an intimate moment in the life of a widow and her dear man. I'll never forget the lesson they taught me that night. I never leave Dan without telling him I love him.

What will be your last words to your beloved? Make sure you

 say "I love you" every time you say good bye.

“. . .  let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely” 

Song of Solomon 2:10 

Sweet words are splashes of serenity on your life and marriage every day! Say them often. Every day. As often as you have opportunity.

Every Marriage Needs a Snow Day, That's Why God Invented Snow!

You're snowed in!  It's honeymoon time! Take advantage of this do-nothing-but-love-your-spouse day! Stay in your PJ's! Bake cookies! Stay in bed!

Married couples are too busy. In their rush, love and time are lost to the hecticness of life. Sad, when lovers do catch site of each other, they may be too tired for more than a quick kiss in the air hoping the embrace reaches the one they love, but can't find time for or are too tired to enjoy.

Now is your time. 

God's given you a snow day.

Dan and I have wonderful memories of our first snow day together. In January 1971, married just a few months, we were stranded in our little apartment in Ithaca, NY. A snow emergency was declared, and no vehicles were allowed on the road. Funny. Pizzas were delivered by snowmobile to hungry folks for like three days.

We baked chocolate chip cookies, stayed in bed for days, and loved being married.

How romantic. 

Really romantic. 

And quiet. 

Snow is so quiet. I love it. I hope you love it too and enjoy these days when God shuts down the world and says, 

Every marriage needs a snow day.

That's why I invented snow.

Well, He didn't say that, I did.

 But God does say:

"May your fountain be blessed,  and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth." Proverbs 5:18

Rejoice in your spouse! God gave you a snow day. Rejoice!

I'm smiling already, with a twinkle in my eye, wondering how many babies will be born nine months from this snow storm. Make sure you name her after me!

Enjoy Snowy Splashes of Serenity on your love today,