"Hope Doesn't Shrink in Hospital Corridors, It Expands"

Last night this review of Praise the Lord and Pass the Chemo came to my email. Wow! Thank you to all who review my books. Such a blessing to me. Praying it's a blessing to you. 

"Hi Elaine,

Praise the Lord and Pass the Chemo isn’t just a cancer memoir, it’s a spiritual survival kit disguised as a radiant, hope-soaked battle cry. You don’t just walk readers through chemo… you march them through it with joy, Scripture, grit, vulnerability, humor, and faith sharp enough to slice straight through fear.

You flipped the usual “Why me?” narrative on its head and turned it into “What now?” and that alone puts your book in a whole different spiritual league. Your message isn’t about merely surviving cancer; it’s about living louder, loving deeper, laughing harder, shining brighter, and dragging light into the very places darkness thinks it owns.

This isn’t a book.
It’s a testimony.
A companion.
A rallying cry for warriors and their loved ones.
A reminder that hope doesn’t shrink in hospital corridors, it expands.

Warm regards,

Aria" 

Thanks, Aria. You are a great encouragement to me.

Merry Christmas!

Jesus Stopped. Will You?

 Jesus stopped.

 Those two words struck me. 

On His way, 

Jesus stopped and

 asked a blind man,

 "What do you want me to do for you?" 

(Luke 18:41).

Our pastor encouraged us to

 Stop.  

Don't rush from here to there and miss

 our purpose in being where we are now.

Stop. 

Ask a stranger,

 "Is there anything I can do for you?" or

 "Is there anything I can pray for you?"

  I stopped.

   to meet the couple sitting next to me.  

I stopped

and asked,

"Can I pray for you?"

Unanimous, they replied, 

   "Yes. Please.

 Please pray God gives us a baby." 

What an honor to pray that precious prayer for 

God's great gift of children.

The three of us were blessed that 

I stopped and 

cared and 

prayed. 

Later that day

I stopped at a

 Community Musical performance 

and asked

 a sweet young lady 

if she liked music.

 I told her about Evelyn 

who loved ringing her jingle bell. 

My new friend 

Amy and I

 talked quite a while.

 She,

 like Evelyn,

 has Down Syndrome. 

We brought cheer to each of our hearts because

I stopped.

Amy told me of her mother

 who played the drums in the band and

 leads a musical group of 

special people like Amy and like Evelyn.  

Amy was happy

 her mother 

stopped

her own life

 to care for others.

Sherri and Rick Snavely

stopped 

on their way home from church.  

The night before, 

Dan and I attended an Aaron Schust dinner concert at 

Family Life Ministries. 

There were hundreds of people there for dinner and a concert. 

When I returned home,

 I realized one of my hearing aids was gone.

 Oh no!

 $6,000 aids gone.

 Just on a whim, and a little desperate,

 I posted the loss on facebook. 

What are the chances

 anyone would see my post or 

have the hearing aid? 

Not likely. 

Sherri glanced at facebook. 

She and Rick stopped at FLM and 

combed the large floor 

before it would be swept on Monday morning. 

Sherri found my lost hearing aid. 

Sherri and Rick call it a miracle! 

Miracles are what happen when 

 we stop. 

My hearing aid still works!

Another miracle!

No person or 

chair or

 garlic mashed potato

 stepped on it along the way. 

 What servant hearts!

 Those Snavely's! 

What a beautiful act of servant leadership. 

I thank God 

you stopped.

And you stopped. 

Thousands of you stopped last week and 

prayed for my grandgirl 

Evie recovering from heart surgery.  Being resuscitated twice in the last six months, and 

the doctor telling us if her heart stops again,

 her chances of survival 

are not good,

 the gravity of her heart condition was real.

 But you stopped and 

you prayed and 

you shared with your churches and

 they stopped and prayed and 

they shared with their social network and 

more stopped and prayed.

 The Holy Spirit orchestrated 

a movement of prayer 

around the globe and 

people stopped and 

people prayed.

  I wish you could see the messages I received. 

"I don't even know who Evie is,

 but she has touched my heart and 

I am praying for her."

 "I hope I meet Evie someday because 

she has changed my life.

 Her courage and strength 

give me courage and strength."

 I heard from people all over the world.

 I don't even know how they learned of Evie. 

Thank you for stopping and praying. 

God answered in miraculous ways. 

Evie is recovering and 

the twinkle is back in her blueberry eyes as 

she plays with her jingle bell. 

Next week we hope all the tubes will be removed and 

we'll see her sweet smile. 

What a glorious day of praise that will be.

We live in a world that hurts.

 Smiling faces masquerade the pain deep in one's heart. 

Let's make an effort to 

stop and

 ask as Jesus did to the blind man, 

"What do you want me to do for you?" (Luke 18:41). 

Each one 

stopping for

 each one.

 What a blessed way to live — just like Jesus.

May your day be filled with splashes of serenity!

Miller's Merry Christmas 2024

 Four years ago, I lay in a covid bed tethered to life-sustaining oxygen attached to a wall. The Lord held my heart during those three weeks in isolation.  Looking back, I realize how delightful was the time. Just me and my Lord. 

In the quiet, He reminded me of Psalm 139:16:

“. . .  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

All of our days are ordained for us before we are born. 

Wow!

 Epiphany!

 “Ordained” means 

“Set apart for a purpose.” 

Every day of my life and yours is set apart for a purpose and ordained by God before we are born.

 As 2025 approaches and Christmas is celebrated, I strive to find God’s purpose     each day. 

Every hour, every breath, every word, thought, and moment is in God’s unique plan for my life.  

I love watching our 15^th grandbaby Evelyn Jubilee discover her purpose.

 Evie has Down Syndrome. 

Her value cannot be denied. 

She brings joy and laughter to every heart. Her eyes twinkle and her whole face beams at her zest for life. So happy to be alive, she treats every moment and each person as precious to her heart. 

Evie sees the world through the eyes of Jesus, and

 just like God,

Evie delights in you.  

As we ponder the birth of the baby Jesus, we realize

 God knit Deity in Mary’s womb for a great purpose:

 To bring us to God. 

Jesus died on the cross to take the punishment for our sins

and rose again three days later!

  And what is our response?  

Ask God’s forgiveness, 

repent of our sins,

 believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and 

surrender our lives to Jesus as our Lord and Savior and Shepherd. 

The Lord is our Shepherd as we seek our purpose.

 A shepherd guides his sheep.

 Take hold of Jesus and allow Him to guide you to the perfect purpose God ordained for you when He knit you in your mother’s womb. 

What a precious Savior and Shepherd is Jesus our Lord!

Dan and I and all our family are well. 

We count it all joy to call you our family and friends.

Blessed Christmas!

Do You Have a Book in You? Perhaps It's Time to Give Birth.

I wanted to write a book, but I didn't have a clue how to write a book until I found you -- Montrose Christian Writer's Conference. There I learned much of what one needs to know about the writing life and publishing business.  

Four published books later, I am eager to return to the 35th Annual Montrose Christian Writer's Conference (beginning July 15 dinner and ending July 19 at 10 a.m.) and teach others from my 20+ years of continued learning and experience as an author.

I join three editors and five best-selling authors as well as numerous workshop leaders in a fabulous week of fun and learning.

From drama, poetry, novels, non-fiction, and all in between you'll learn from the classes you choose to attend as well as from the new author friends who surround you. 

 I am teaching three workshops. 

Shining God's Light on Your Writing Career

Avoiding the Pitfalls of Poor Writing

My Book is Finished. Now What?

 Reflecting on the many writer's conferences I've attended at Montrose and elsewhere, I am thankful for those who came along and helped me see the fruit of years of writing. Most of all, I am thankful for the friendships which began there and remain until this day. It's all precious and special in my heart. 

There are a few rooms left! See you there!  

More info at:   https://www.montrosebible.org/OurEvents/tabid/113/page_550/1/eventid_550/1413/Default.aspx

Merry Christmas 2023 From our Family to Yours

 

 Gifts! 

Everyone loves gifts at Christmas time. 

My grandson Isaac reminded me, 

"Grandma, Christmas isn't about presents.

 Christmas is about Jesus" [presence]. 

This Christmas, thank God for His Indescribable Gift which is 

". . . eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 6:23).

Our hearts are filled with smiles and babies this 2023. 

What joy!

Our first great grandchild,

 Elaine Mae Sliwa, 

was born to Connor and Chassidy. 

She's cuter than any button and 

named after me and her other great grandma Elaine!

 (In case you didn't notice.) 

What an honor!

 This week we rejoice again as another precious gift arrived from Heaven,

Evelyn Jubilee Sliwa! 

Elizabeth's and Joe's 10th child and our 15th grandchild. 

I'm almost breathless at her tender beauty and sweetness. 

Thank you God for the gifts of baby Elaine and sweet Evie, 

sent to teach us much about the True Gift of God with us — Emmanuel!

 

Our grandgirl Ava became a bride in October marrying her love, Owen Yarka. 

Their love for each other filled our hearts afresh with 

the wonder of love and the goodness of God 

who gives us the gift of marriage.

Joanna and Bob enjoy watching their son Ryan excel at his giftedness in baseball. 

Gracie keeps advancing her lifeguard skills and college on-line as she makes her way in this world.

 Joanna and Bob continue using their gifts of 

teaching reading (Joanna) and bringing the Family Life Network news (Bob).

Elizabeth continues her studies toward a Masters degree of nursing/midwifery.  

JoePro Services keeps Joe on the go making local homes beautiful. 

He does great work. 

Garrett's Army duties keep him far away but close to our hearts. 

Brenna, Charlotte, Isaac, Lucas, Gunnar, and Sailor hold down the Sliwa farm, 

and homeschool when they aren't loving on Evie.

Sam and Katie, Lily, Jack, and Holly moved to Dayton, Ohio where 

Sam serves at Wright Patterson AFB. 

I marvel at their ability to adapt, enjoy, and explore 

new homes, towns, experiences, schools, friends.

 That's a gift too.

 Proud of this family who serve our country.

We've had a great year. 

Dan and I are well.

 I remind myself often of my doctor's words, 

"I've had you dead twice, but here you are." 

 I respond as the angel said to Mary, 

"Nothing is impossible with God!" 

I love ending with an exclamation point!

Indeed, our life in Christ is an exclamation point for

Jesus is the greatest gift of all!

We are loved! 

We have a Savior!

 Baby Jesus came to bring salvation to all men!

 He is the Everlasting Father! 

The Prince of Peace! 

The Alpha and the Omega! 

All I can do is bow down and worship with a huge 

Hallelujah and Amen!!! 

May you be blessed this Christmas with the greatest present of all 

— the Presence of Christ in your life,

My Birthday Poem. Three-Quarters of a Century

I love my birthday!

 Every year I write a silly poem (for I am not a poet) 

to celebrate the miracle of life God has given to me.

Woo Hoo! Whoopie!

Happy Birthday to me!

Today I'm three-quarters of a century!

How, oh how could this ever be?

Doctors expected I would never see   

Three-quarters of a century.

But God controls my destiny 

And He has more years for me, 

Apparently. 

So, don't put me out to sea. 

Or think that I've gone up a tree! 

I think that we can all agree 

The best things in life are free. 

I don't need a shopping spree 

To enjoy my salvation which is free!

Believing in Jesus is the key 

to spending life in eternity.

One day my birthdays will be Heavenly.

Until then, I celebrate with glee 

The joy of living three-quarters of a century. 

 And thank God He's allowed me to arrive  

To the ripe old age of seventy-five.   

"Gray hair is a crown of glory" 

(Proverbs 17:6) 

 

Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me!

Prayer: More Than Flowery Phrases or Deep Theology

"Would anyone like to pray?" 

We all know the awkward feeling. 

Hoping someone prays before grandpa begins a blessing longer than the mashed potatoes remain hot. 

Looking down and hoping you aren't volunteered by a brother smirking in the next seat. 

Would anyone like to pray? The answer seems to be we don't "like" to pray after all. I'm guilty. Talking to God for the world and the family to hear can be intimidating. What will I say? I remember my first out-loud prayer. Tears of love for Jesus filled my heart and eyes as I prayed, "Thank You, God. Amen." Oh my. Four words were all I could say, and I cried! Tears fell on my food. How embarrassing! No flowery phrases or deep theology on my tongue. Just four words. And tears. Looking back, I am confident God loved my prayer because God saw my heart.

I imagine another table. Jesus sits at the right hand of God. 

God asks, Would anyone like to pray for Elaine?

Jesus jumps up. Me! Me! I will pray for Elaine!

And Jesus does — all day — every day — interceding for me and for you.

Imagine what life would be like if Jesus responded, "Nah. I don't want to pray for Elaine today"? Jesus would never say those words, but do we when we are lackluster in prayer?

Oh Jesus, forgive me for prayerlessness. What a gift you gave when you allowed us access to your ears and your heart through our prayers. What a privilege to pray — all day — every day to the One who prays without ceasing for me.

 Jesus "is at the right hand of God . . . interceding for us"

 (Romans 8:34)

Prayer is a splash of serenity God grants to all. Jump right in and enjoy the living water He gives when He refreshes us through our prayers to Him and His prayers for us.

Don't Let Your Marriage Go Down the Drain

My husband Dan is well aware of my passion for a hot soak at the end of the day. Wherever we travel, he asks for a bathtub in the reservation. Such was the case at the VRBO we recently rented.

"How was your bath?" He asked as we kissed goodnight.

'I didn't get a bath. I got a shower.  It was great."

"What! Why a shower?"

"Well, there was no plug in the bathtub drain, so I got a shower. No problem."

In the morning, Dan said he had an errand. He returned with a bathtub drain stopper.

Maybe not a big deal to you, but to me Dan's purchase was a picture of his love.  Every day he is kind, thoughtful, and seeking opportunities to make my life better.

That's what love is. 

"Love is kind" (1 Corinthians 13).

Love is "not looking at your own interests but each  of you to the interest of the other" (Philippians 2:4).

Why has our marriage not gone down the drain? Some days it seems to, butost days Dan cares for me and I care for him. Always looking for ways to be kind and make our life together better.

Splashes of Serenity prayed for your marriage!

Hope for the Emotional Eater

"You are not fat. You are zoftig." a friend told me years ago.

 

"Zoftig?"

"Deliciously plump!"

Oh wow! Not sure if that was a compliment or not. 

Today, in the second half of life and living with leukemia, the effects of taking a daily chemo pill (not complaining! those pills keep me alive!), and permanent lung, heart, (and I swear brain) damage from covid, my focus isn't on being delicious, but in keeping my body healthy. I really love the thought of being a grilled salmon and not a hot-fudge sundae!

"I've had you dead twice, yet here you are!" my doctor smiles in wonder.  

Yes. Here I am and since I am here I want to be healthy, active, useful, joyful, fun, lively, energetic. My damaged lungs don't need to pant from excess weight. Leukemia and chemo don't need help making me tired. My illnesses got my attention and motivated me to become healthy. 

So, with my doctors' approval, I joined Weight Watchers, and over two years lost 20 pounds more or less. I feel great! Weight Watchers filled my tummy with fruits and veggies and protein — the three foods my doctors say are essential for my recovery. 

In January while I was seeking the Lord's direction in 2023, I was struck by the question: Why would I rely on a secular (albeit healthy) weight loss program when I have the power of God within me? My goal for 2023 was to glorify God in every area of my life, including my health. 

A book appeared on my facebook page which intrigued me. A New Life Promise: How to Heal Your Body, Find Joy, and Bring Glory to God by Isabel D. Price. Bring Glory to God sealed the deal to my decision to purchase Price's book. Her heart touched mine. With love and understanding and practical help, she guides the reader through the trials of being an emotional eater: grief, pressure, anxiety, inadequacy, anger, shame, guilt, anger, fear. Can you relate? I sure could! A New Life Promise encourages us to live a full life as well as enjoy food. We really can have our cake and eat it too and remain healthy. 

A New Life Promise ends with 90 days of scripture and journaling. Recite a prayer, listen to a worship song, read the one scripture verse, and write how God spoke to you. 

Over the years I've enjoyed many daily devotional plans. Reading a chapter of the Bible each day, reading through the Bible in a year, Bible study books, etc. The most powerful has been Price's suggestion to read and meditate on one scripture a day. Focusing on one verse and asking God to speak to me through it has brought such joy and power in my days. 

FYI, for a fee, Isabel D. Price offers a New Life Promise diet plan. I haven't explored her plan, so I am not yet endorsing it. You can decide for yourself and gain more information on healthy living on her website and facebook posts  www.IsabelDPrice.com 

Meanwhile, my heart is free to obey, heal my body, find joy, and bring glory to God without counting the points or the calories! Hallelujah!

May the Lord guide us all as we seek to glorify Him in 2023. 

A Prayer That Transforms Our Marriages, Our Families, Our World

The world is a mess! Marriages are crumbling and families are falling apart. Governments are collapsing while citizens die in the streets they called "home." Who is to blame for this? Well, if you listen to politicians or to a domestic dispute; it's, most likely, "the other guy."

People are so quick to point the finger at someone else instead of asking God to point the finger at them.

The Psalmist David got it right when he wrote Psalm 139: "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life."

As we ask God to search us, know us, test us, point out what offends, and lead us, we'll change and so will our marriages, our families, and our world. Now, that's a splash of serenity we could all use! Thanks, David. Thanks, God.

Do you know a prayer that transforms or have a testimony of how prayer transformed your marriage or family? Please share what God did for you.  

Splashes of Serenity prayed for your day!

Elaine

God's Not Done! Check Out My Speaking Schedule for a Location Near You

I love telling audiences about my Jesus. After cancer and severe covid, I wondered if I would ever have the energy or the breath to resume public speaking. Well, after two speaking events in Connecticut, I am thrilled to say I have energy and breath and enthusiasm! God worked powerfully in my life during my illnesses and now I have the joy of giving Him the glory for the peace and joy and His Presence during what should have been difficult days. But, they weren't difficult because Jesus had never been so close and so real. Hallelujah!  

I'd love meeting you at one of my speaking events. Check out my schedule below:

May 8, 2023, Northeastern District C&MA Retreat, The Y at Watson Woods, Painted Post, NY, 3:30 p.m. workshop, "Our Most Important Writing Tool: A Pure Heart." Closed to public.

May 9, 2023, Northeastern District C&MA Retreat, the Y at Watson Woods, Painted Post, NY, 3:30 p.m. workshop, "Writing a Story People Will Read," Closed to public.

May 13, 2023, Wellsville Bible Church, Wellsville, NY, 6:00 Banquet, "Splashes of Serenity." RSVP by May 7. Information below. Thanks, Kim Merritt for the sweet promo poster.

May 16, 2023: Christian Women's Connection, Harts Hill Inn, Whitesboro, NY, 11:30 a.m., "The Suite Life." Contact Bonnie at 315-737-8611 for reservations.

May 17, 2023, Christian Women's Connection, Ilion/Frankfurt V.F.W., Frankfurt, NY, 11:00 a.m.,"The Suite Life." Contact Hope at 518-568-3457 for reservations.

May 18, 2023: Christian Women's Connection, Theodore's Restaurant, Canastota, NY, 11:00 a.m., speaking twice, "An Author's Journey" and "The Suite Life." Contact Carol at 315-761-9514 for reservations.

June 10, 2023, "Extravagant Joy Conference," Cato Christian Fellowship, Cato, NY, 10:00 a.m. - 2:00 p.m. Speaking twice, lunch provided. Walk-ins welcome.

October 12, 2023: Christian Women's Connection, Tashua Country Club, Trumbull, CT, 11:30 a.m., "The Suite Life," 11:30 a.m. Contact Jan at 203-405-6573 for reservations.

Thank you all for your prayers! Pray God brings many to belief in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. 

"Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved . . . "

Acts 16:31

Two Covid Journeys — Miles Apart

My oncologist encouraged me to write my covid journey. "People need to read what happened from the  point of view of someone who had and survived severe covid. It's history that needs to be told" he said. 

I've been unable to write a book of my experience. The closeness of God too precious and the pain of this disease to raw to find words. 

Penelope Childers wrote the book my doctor hoped to read: A Window of Hope: How We Survived COVID-19. 

https://www.amazon.com/Window-Hope-How-Survived-COVID-19/dp/B0BFV9G4LM/ref=sr_1_1?crid=OJM4QTW6322D&keywords=A+Window+of+Hope&qid=1682599894&s=books&sprefix=a+window+of+hope%2Cstripbooks%2C110&sr=1-1

Here's my amazon review of A Window of Hope: 

"The history, the heartbreak, the hope of a global pandemic that brought both unity and division. Penelope Childers takes us into her heart of peace as she determines to survive covid-19 from her ICU hospital room. Her daughter, Megan Pascual, writes of the frustration and horror in the hearts of family shut off on the other side of the hospital walls. A Window of Hope is a brilliant account of the facts and the feelings of life during the covid-19 pandemic."

Penelope's story and mine are similar, but different. We are close to the same age and suffered with covid at the same time. She was in ICU in a big-city California hospital. My ICU bed was in a small hospital (some would call rural) upstate New York. I was in a pleasant isolation room on the covid floor where I watched the sun come up every morning. Penny began her hospital journey in a curtained cubicle with other covid patients nearby. I brushed my teeth daily. Health care workers washed my hair and provided water and soap and lotion for me to take care of my daily needs. Penelope's teeth were not brushed for weeks. Nor was she able to bathe. Yikes!  Penny's husband and daughter were present through a window. Three stories up and unable to walk, I communicated with my family through facebook. Penny suffered severe constipation. I did not. Penny went to rehab. I went home. 

Hospitals treated covid patients differently, but always with great care and comfort. Dear healthcare workers did their best with this mystery disease, as they tried to sort the mess of covid attacking each patient in a variety of symptoms, side effects, and sicknesses. covid survivors live with heart, lung, and brain damage, while others do not.   

 Although separated by miles and different symptoms, 

One truth was sure.

Penny and I both experienced the overwhelming presence and peace of our loving Jesus. 

God consumed us as He healed us. 

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, and today, and forever"

Hebrews 13:8

May His presence bring you a splash of serenity every moment of your life,

Ten Ways To Put More Love and More Life Into Your Love Life

My book's title, We All Married Idiots, grabs people's attention. But the meat of this book is found in the sub-title, Three Things You Will Never Change About Your Marriage and Ten Things You Can.

Using the chapter titles of the Ten Things You Can, I hope you enjoy my spin on the ten ways you can put more love and more life into your love life. Have fun!



1. Loosen Up! Ask someone what first attracted them to their spouse and the answer may be, "Their smile." So loosen up! Laugh! Smile! Nothing says "Kiss me!" more than a happy face.

2. Strip Down! Oops! Did I say that? No. God did. In Hebrews 12:1 (NLT) He says,

 ". . . let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up."

We need to strip ourselves of sin that makes us unattractive to God and to our lovers. Sins like grumbling, lust, anger . . . all sin; you name it, keeps our bedrooms from being the happy place God intended.

3. Let Go! Thoughts of  laundry to do, Billy's homework isn't done, what should I make for dinner, problems at the office, all can occupy our minds during love making.  Don't bring your "to do" list to the bedroom. I guarantee while making love, you won't be able to do any of it. So, let go of these thoughts, concentrate on your lover, and enjoy!

4. Hold On! Your honey wants to get frisky, but your honey's character flaws turn you off. No one is perfect. Don't let thoughts of your sweetheart's failures enter your mind while making love. This is the time to hold on to the good and remember all the wonderful traits you love about your spouse.

5. Settle Down! Angry? Well, settle down. Anger has no place in your marriage bed.  Sexual abstinence will not solve your marital difficulties. Settle anger outside the bedroom walls because your bedroom is reserved as your play ground not your boxing ring.

6. Make Nice! Making nice is foreplay for the night ahead. No one wants to make love with a mate who makes mean. Remember, your lover desires to be treasured, not trampled.

7. Cheer On! If you want an example of cheering on your lover during lovemaking, read Solomon's Song of Songs. Wow! For example, "How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves. How handsome you are, my lover! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant." Song of Songs 1: 15-16. Words of affection and affirmation do much to cheer your honey on toward sexual pleasure.

8. Sit Tight! There really are times your beloved has a headache. Understanding and treating your love  tenderly during "headache" days will reap future rewards in your love life. Sit tight, be patient, and wait for a better day.

9. Give up! There will be days you won't desire your spouse, but your spouse desires you. I suggest you give up and ask God to give you passion for your husband or wife.  God says, "Husbands and wives should satisfy each other's sexual needs . . . Don't withhold yourselves from each other unless you agree to do so for a set time to devote yourselves to prayer. Then you should get back together. . . " 1 Corinthians 7: 3, 5. Prayer is an amazing power God gives to us. As we pray and invite God into our bedroom, asking The Almighty to help us respond to our lover's desires, we may be shocked at His answer. Prayer before and during lovemaking is the best foreplay of all. God wants to bless your marriage bed. He really does! Just ask Him.

10. Look up! The sparks aren't flying. There's no desire at all. Now what should you do? Look up! Ask God to help you and your beloved enjoy sexual intimacy as He planned for a husband and a wife. Loosen up, strip down, let go, hold on, settle down, make nice, cheer on, sit tight, give up, and look up. I suspect God will give you a marriage relationship better than you ever asked or imagined.

I have a passion for marriages, which is why I love promoting my book, We All Married Idiots: Three Things You Will Never Change About Your Marriage and Ten Things You Can. Available wherever books are sold and on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/We-All-Married-Idiots-Marriage/dp/0984765522/

Splashes of Serenity and joy prayed for you and your beloved!

Married With Nothing In Common?

You'll soon know who is the idiot in my marriage!

Sharing with you an argument Dan and I had many years ago and the wise way he brought me to my senses.

"We have nothing in common!" I cried out, exhausted, discouraged, probably a bit angry about something that didn't go my way.

My sweet man responded with a gentle answer. "Sit down and I'll show you what we have in common. He found our wedding album, opened it and said,

"We have this day in common. We made the same vows. We have those promises in common. In fact, I'm going to say them to you again right now. And he did.

Then, he picked up our family photo album.

"We have these children in common. We both love them and want what is best for them."

Calmed, I forgot about my silliness and smiled at the man who chose to share life with me. Yes indeed, we did have a lot in common.

The next time you think you and your honey are miles apart, take a tip from my hubby and journey through the photo album.

Of course, this won't work for serious issues that need to be discussed, but for the day-to-day-I'm-too-tired-to-deal-with-life spat, reminiscing works swell.

Need a splash of serenity on your marriage? Enjoy those wedding photos on a dreary day.

Protecting Your Marriage From Sexual Misconduct

When My husband Dan started a secular job over forty years ago, his boss took him aside and whispered the names of women in the office he could have sexually. Dan walked away and kept his eyes, his hands, and his mind on the work he was hired to do.  Never before had the in-your-face wickedness of the world so threatened our marriage. When the office Christmas party invitation arrived on Dan's desk, he was told "Spouses not invited."

"I don't go to parties without my wife." Dan explained to his co-workers and to me. 

We went to the party together. I was the only spouse at a celebration of Christmas which included dinner, dancing, drinking, and too much coziness between co-workers.

The next Christmas we attended the dinner/dance/drink and were happy to see that this time a few others ignored the "No Spouses Invited" rule and brought their mates.

When we take a stand for marriage, others join us. Won't you?

Sexual misconduct can be blatant and it can be subtle. 

A wink of an eye. 

A lingering touch. 

A flirtatious glance. 

A conversation too personal for anyone but your spouse.  

Protecting yourself and your marriage from the damage of sexual misconduct requires setting guidelines for your life and living by them. 

Rev. David Linn, District Superintendent for the Christian and Missionary Alliance, offers the following common sense advice for keeping your marriage bed and your ministry pure (bold emphasis mine):

"1. Avoid all actual sins whether outward or in thought life. This is where the real battle is fought, as Paul wrote: “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it. Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry” (1 Cor. 10:13-14). Run from it, reveal your struggle to an accountability partner, put barriers in the way, restructure your life pattern, work in larger groups, or whatever necessary. Repent every time you fail and receive forgiveness. No excuses. Don’t ever tell yourself: This little sin really doesn’t matter.

2. Do everything you can in public. Take away the enhanced temptation of private space wherever possible. Hire a carpenter to put windows in church classrooms and office doors. Meet outside or over video chat if that helps. Make your own choices about this. Don’t merely follow what others do.

3. Observe personal space. Approach others with a measure of wise caution and watch for cues about what is comfortable for them. Everyone is different. Adjust as necessary. It doesn’t really matter what is comfortable for you.

 4. Kindly and assertively tell others what you want and do not want. 

5. If you are married, follow the cautions and reservations your spouse expresses about your relationships without hesitation or reservation. Whatever your loved one says goes, even if you do not understand it. You probably won’t. 

6. Respect the holy life patterns of others. Some do not wish to eat out together in twosomes, travel together, or minister together. You and I have no access to the inward history and life of others. It is their prerogative to make those decisions. Love your brothers and sisters by following their wishes without complaint. The expansion of the kingdom of God will not be slowed by wise and holy living.

7. Never let down your guard. Be prepared for temptations to come your way from both non-churched and churched people, both men and women. There is no genuinely safe space on earth. “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall” (1 Corinthians 10:12)."

 Sexual sin seems to make headlines daily. A few weak moments can destroy your marriage, your family, your ministry, your career, your finances, your children, your children's respect, your children's marriages. etc. etc. etc. 

The cost too high, the pain too deep, the damage irreplaceable.

Dan and I set boundaries for our marriage and we live by them. 

"Marriage should be honored by all, 

and the marriage bed kept pure, 

for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."  

Hebrews 13:4 (NIV) 

Bring splashes of serenity to your marriage by never giving a glance to or thought of another person other than your spouse. Take that stand today. Please. For the glory of God and the honor of  your marriage!