Seven No No's When Dating Your Spouse

Anyone see it? What is wrong with this picture?

Last March Dan and I enjoyed a lovely dinner in Bosnia Herzegovina with our friends Mark and Kathy Eikost. We laughed and dined and were blessed with great fellowship and fun.

"Let me take your picture?" Good times are worth commemorating. Admiring the sweet smiles of our friends, I laughed when I realized their photo had indeed been bombed.

Do you see what's wrong? Why is the date at the next table going badly?

Not wanting to miss a teachable moment I noticed during the entire dinner, the couple never took their eyes off their phones. Not once. The waitress arrived and they ordered without looking at her or each other. The meal was served and their time on their phones didn't skip a beat. Their communication was silent.

Now, I don't want to judge, because possibly there was a family crisis going on and they needed to be attached to their phones instead of each other. But there is a lesson here.

Seven No No's When Dating Your Spouse:

1. Leave your telephones in your pockets and concentrate on each other.

2. Don't always double date with your favorite couple. You know what happens? The wives talk with each other and the husbands do the same. Nothing wrong with that, but make sure most of your dates eliminate other people.

3. Don't always talk about work, children, or negative subjects. Certainly there are times when you need to communicate with each other about work and children  or unpleasant  topics. But, once in a while decide to only talk about each other and what you love about each other. Dream your dreams and plan your future together refusing to put each other down or squash each other's plans.

4. Don't listen to the next table's conversation.  Give your full attention to your spouse, looking deep into their eyes.

5. Don't treat your spouse like a business associate. Instead build up your spouse like you did when you first dated. Guys, open the door for your sweetie, help her with her coat and chair. Gals, smile at your lover. Slip your hand on his knee. Give your love your full attention.

6. Do NOT flirt with the waiter or waitress!!!

7. If you see someone you know and engage in conversation with that person, honor your spouse by introducing him or her to your friend. 

I am sure there are other "no-no's." I'd love to hear from you any I've missed. Or perhaps some favorite memory of dating your spouse.

"I am my lover's and my lover is mine;" 

Song of Songs 6:3

Splash serenity on your marriage by making your marriage a priority. Always.

Say "I Love You" Every Time You Say Good Bye.

In my travels as a speaker, I am blessed to stay in the homes of lovely people. Many are precious   widows. I love hearing their stories, for they have much to teach me.

Some watched their beloved suffer over years. Other deaths were sudden. The blink of an eye and their sweetie was gone. Whether a long death or quick, they all were final, and they all remember one thing:

The last words their beloved spoke to them. 

Sitting around the kitchen table, talking over chamomile and honey, my widowed hostess and I     were eager for more conversation, but our eyes were drooping. We decided to do the wise thing and get a good sleep.

"Do you mind if I say good night to my hubby before I turn in?" my widowed hostess asked.

She hit the "1" on the answering machine. The male voice echoed "Hi honey! I'm going to bed  now. I hope you have a good sleep. Good night. I love you."

"Those were his last words to me. I listen to him say 'I love you" every night before I go to sleep"

 He died years ago, and his loving voice still brings her joy as she heads to her empty bed.

Tears flowed as I witnessed an intimate moment in the life of a widow and her dear man. I'll never forget the lesson they taught me that night. I never leave Dan without telling him I love him.

What will be your last words to your beloved? Make sure you

 say "I love you" every time you say good bye.

“. . .  let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely” 

Song of Solomon 2:10 

Sweet words are splashes of serenity on your life and marriage every day! Say them often. Every day. As often as you have opportunity.