My covid Journey — The Best Year of My Life

What a mixed-bag of emotions!

"You won't get covid again. 

If you do, it won't be severe. 

You are free! 

Go to church, 

go to the store, 

restaurants,

 travel, 

go anywhere and everywhere!"

My heart skipped higher than my feet sailing out of Roswell Cancer Center yesterday.

After 13 months of isolation,

 I was free!

We celebrated with in-restaurant dining.

Good, but not as good as Dan's cooking.

My glee!

Giddy at the prospects of where I would go first:

Family

Friends

Church

Mani/pedi

Walmart

 

The list was endless. 

So much missed in 13 months.

My mind became cluttered quickly.

Slow down, Elaine, 

you still have 40 percent of your lungs damaged. 

Ease into, 

don't jump into,

 life as you once lived.

This morning, I woke to our slow-paced, covid-pandemic lifestyle.

Coffee and breakfast together.

Talking, waking up, talking some more,

Reading our devotional book, our Bibles and praying together.

Slow, no schedule, relaxed.

Thankful, I realized this year was a gift to us.

Together. 

This is the year life stopped and we found each other.

Without the pandemic, I may never have noticed Dan's love in action.

We cooked, 

 talked, 

played games, 

 laughed,

healed, 

 loved.

Like a year-long honeymoon, 

our love deepened, 

our communication understood. 

Soon, I realized this was more than our love story.

God revealed His love story for us.

Sick with covid, 

we had no choice but to 

stop and 

surrender

our lives and 

our dreams to

 our Savior. 

We fell at His feet and realized our utter dependence upon Jesus.

Nothing else mattered.

Not family,

friends,

church,

mani/pedi,

or Walmart

Only Jesus and

Jesus was enough. 

A life surrendered to Jesus is always the best year of one's life.

"And we know that God causes everything to work together 

for the good of those 

who love God and

 are called according to His purpose for them." 

Romans 8:28

Our covid Journey — In Sickness and in Health

"In sickness and in health."

Those words slide over our tongues 

faster than we realize what we are promising.

 We commit to a lot on our wedding day.

With God's help, 

we deliver on those vows  

whether plagued with a pandemic or a silly old sniffle.

 

What can I say about my husband and his response to my severe covid?

Never have I felt 

so loved, 

treasured, 

cherished, 

cared for.

He devoted himself to my well being.

To making me 

comfortable, 

safe, 

healthy.

And always, 

to know his love.

 

When vows were made with dreamy eyes,

we didn't envision 

the potty chair, 

the mess, 

the work,

the pain,

the exhaustion.

 

Never a complaint.

Always joy.

Forever a smile, 

A joke,

 a laugh, and

  always 

love.

A happy home is a healing home.

Not knowing how to cook, he taught himself how.

Making me amazing gourmet meals.

When he asked what I wanted for dessert,

I said, "pineapple upside down cake."

I was kidding.

How in the world do you turn a cake upside down?

I had never ventured it.

But there it was.

What Elaine wanted, 

Dan gave.

The house clean.

Kitchen spotless.

Laundry done.

Kisses given.

Prayers prayed.

Love.

I am blessed by a man who has the gift of mercy.

 Caring for me was 

his desire,

his calling,

his devotion 

to the wife of his youth.

 "May your fountain be blessed, 

and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth." 

Proverbs 5:18

I am the wife of Dan's youth.

We rejoice in our love.

The love God gave us for each other.

The love we share for Him.

The love that endures forever.

The Love that strengthens us when we are weak.

the Love that heals.

The Love that says

 "Love is patient, 

love is kind . . . . 

 it is not self-seeking, 

it is not easily angered . . . . 

 

Love 

 always protects,

 always trusts, 

always hopes, 

always perseveres. " 

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

My husband.

Overflowing with love

just like

Jesus.

My Covid Journey — The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

"What joy!

He found my window. 

First time I've seen him in three weeks!

Thrill of my life being married to Dan Miller.

Soon I'll touch that handsome face and kiss those lips."

~ my thoughts on this day.

The nurses and I finangled a rendezvous at my window.

They knew healing comes when one is touched by love.

 I saw him.

He could only imagine my face behind a darkened window. 

Three weeks.

Without his touch. 

Living in uncertainty that we would ever touch again.

He cried, 

felt helpless, 

insufficient to improve my condition.

He would change places with me, 

if he could. 

But he couldn't.

What could he do?

He prayed. 

And prayed. 

Fasting and praying. 

Prone on the floor crying out to God for the life of his wife. 

 Jesus,

our sufficiency,

our healer,

 our hope.

He never lost sight of our faces, 

our needs, 

our love for each other, and 

our love for Him.

The weeks were long and pain-filled. 

Our God is eternal, and joy-filled.

Jesus. 

Our healer. 

The Love of our lives. 

The One Who joined us as husband and wife and 

called us to ministry together. 

He would trade places with us 

if He could.

He could.  

He did.

On a hill far away was an old rugged cross.

"Surely He took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows,

 yet we considered him stricken by God,

 smitten by Him and afflicted. 

But He was pierced for our transgressions, 

He was crushed for our iniquities; 

the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and 

by His wounds we are healed." 

Isaiah 53:4-5

My healing came because I was touched by Love.

Thank You,

 Jesus 

My Covid Journey — Road Trip — ICU

My oxygen level fell fast.

"We're taking you to ICU." 

 Making light of a serious situation, I responded,

 "Road Trip — ICU!"

Waving the Queen's wave all the way down the hall, I smiled and greeted my new team of caregivers.  

Intensive Care Unit.

 Not a good place for blood cancer patients who have 

  a high mortality rate when their covid-19 diagnosis warrants a trip to ICU.

Like a rock, I delivered the blow to my family. 

 Crushing. 

My husband pledged his undying (appropriate term) love to me.

 My children stayed strong for mom and dad.

Too numb for words.

 

My oldest broke the shock with her comfort and wisdom,

 "I'm glad you are going to ICU. 

They will know how to take care of you and make you better." 

She was right.

Keeping my eyes and thoughts on Jesus,

 I remembered His words on the cross, 

"My God, my God why have you forsaken me?" 

I didn't feel like Jesus felt.

God had not forsaken me. 

He was never closer. 

Total peace, 

calm, and

 excitement as

 I realized,

"Wow! I might see Jesus soon. 

Heaven, here I come!"

I thought of  Jesus.

Days before He died

He asked His disciples to pray with Him. 

They didn't pray. 

They fell asleep. 

My friends, however, continued to keep watch.

 Prayers poured in — all day and all night. 

A mighty army of prayers covered me. 

God never left me.

Thankful for each prayer,  

I slept in the knowledge that

if I died, it wasn't for lack of people praying for me.

Startled.

Bells woke me in the middle of the night.

I wondered,

Why are bells ringing?

Do bells ring when you go to Heaven?

Is that "my bell" announcing my arrival to the Heavenlies?

Startled again.

 A shrill Stop! whistle.

  I hear my husband's voice pleading,

"Please God don't take her from me."

Hallucination? or

Was I so near Heaven, 

I heard my husband communing with God and 

experiencing God's answer to prayer in real time?

Either way, 

the night was powerful and 

the beginning to my road trip to recovery.

How about you? 

Do you know for sure you will go to Heaven?

Are you excited to go to Heaven?

If not,

please read the New Testament, 

speak to a Bible-teaching minister, 

talk to me, 

ask a Christian friend,

 go to a Bible-teaching church,

give your heart and life to Jesus. 

"For God so loved the world that 

He gave his one and only Son, that 

whoever believes in Him 

shall not perish 

but have eternal life."

John 3:16

Our Covid Journey — When a Man Loves a Woman

 "So she became his wife, and

he loved her."

Genesis 24:64

 I have a man who sings me to sleep at night. 

One might think he carefully chose the songs, but 

they were too perfect for a human mind to put together.

 God The Holy Spirit, filled Dan with words of 

scripture, 

prayer,

 song,  

 love. 

I needed to breathe.

My body was not cooperating.

covid-19 ate away at my lungs

as God and Dan filled my heart with His love and His song.

 We clung to each other, as 

we clung to the Lord, 

watching, 

waiting, 

hoping,

devastated, but

 filled with hope and faith and trust as 

my condition declined.

We knew and believed the truth of Romans 8:38-39:

"I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love.

Neither death nor life,

neither angels nor demons,

neither our fears for today

nor our worries about tomorrow —

not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love.

No power in sky above or earth below —

indeed, nothing in all creation

will ever be able to separate us

from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." 

Death can come at any time.

We rested in God's Sovereignty and love.

Thankful that over fifty years ago

I became Dan's wife, and he loved me.

Dan became my husband, and I loved him.

No regrets.

In life and in death

Jesus is our Savior.  

 He loves us and we love Him.

God placed a song in our hearts,

and so we believe and we breathe and we sing! 

Perhaps you know someone who needs a song today.

Don't wait to love the people you love.