Dan and I Share the Better and the Worse of our 51 Years Together

Lots of great marriage help here as Dan and I share the ups and downs of married life. 

 

May your marriage be blessed!

When a Mother's Nest is Empty — A Page From My Journal, March 29, 2008

My three little birdies the day my nest was empty.

When the last child leaves, there is definitely an adjustment. The house is quiet, activity stands still,  practical jokes cease (although I don't miss finding dog food in the Flutie Flakes), and three fewer voices break out in laughter making mom laugh too, filling my heart with joy. I loved being the mother to these three sweet and funny clowns. Thank You God for the laughter and fun and for entrusting me with such precious gifts.

Empty nest hurts. 

There is grief and loss. 

The pain of empty nest is much more than the fact that I miss my children. It is the knowledge that I  am releasing my little ones, now grown big, into a world that is harsh. Life is cruel. My babies, my children, my teens I protected so well, are so soon thrown into the hard realities of adulthood. Mom's and Dad's protection will no longer be enough.

When we see — helplessly watch — our grown children go through difficulties because they make the same mistakes we made or because they are standing strong and living a righteous life in an  unrighteous world —  a mother's heart tears apart as she feels the fiercest enemy is delivering fatal blows.

It is then and it is now,

 we must give them back to God — 

again and again. 

Because moms are human, we all fail. We neglect to give them enough responsibility. There wasn't enough time to teach all about finances and marriage and raising children, and how to survive in a world whose goal seems to be their destruction. The heaviness of letting go is too much to carry. The Good News is we don't have to carry that burden because . . . 

We have a God whose nest is never empty. 

He doesn't let them go. 

 Jesus never fails.

 He is the only perfect parent.

 

He carries and cares for our children and 

their children, and

their children.

He watches over them,

protects them,

loves them,

 draws them to Himself

always,

forever. 

Come to Jesus — 

Give our children to Jesus. 

He is our only source of sweet rest,

peace, and

joy.

"Come to me,

all you who are weary and burdened, and

I will give you rest."

Matthew 11:28

"Cast all your anxiety on Him because 

He cares for you."

1 Peter 5:7

"Praise be to the Lord,

to God our Savior,

who daily bears our burdens."

Psalm 68:19

Have a blessed release day and watch Jesus catch them.

A Mother Smiles From Heaven as Her Prayers are Answered on Earth

I love Divine Appointments! Many years before I knew I would have leukemia, I met a young mom with terminal cancer. On a three-hour airplane ride she shared her prayers and her dreams for her children, as well as lessons God taught her on her cancer journey. I asked if I could write her story and she gave permission. I wrote

A Mother's Day Message from a Dying Mommy 

to All Mothers of the World 

 (see below) 

In 2018, years after Paige's death, my book Praise the Lord and Pass the Chemo: A Hopeful Response to a Hard Reality was published. Paige's wisdom deserved two chapters in my book.

Before the book was released,
I searched for Paige's children in hopes of sharing their mother's thoughts.  

 I found no contact information. 

Just the lovely picture of three special kids with sweet Paige.

    

Then, this winter I received an email from California.

"I am Paige's cousin. 
I googled Paige's name and found your blog." 

What a thrill for me and for the cousin. She connected me with Paige's parents who communicated  their appreciation of reading Paige's words. I sent Praise the Lord and Pass the Chemo to Paige's cousin, parents, and best yet, to each one of Paige's children along with a personal note of hopes Paige had for each child. (not included in the blog or book).

 Isn't God amazing and good!

Paige is smiling from Heaven

as I see her prayers answered on earth.

I pray Praise the Lord and Pass the Chemo is a blessing to her family as I thank God for nudging me to write about Paige. She is gone, but her words live on and will impact mothers this Mother's Day. For the glory of God!

Don't you just love Divine Appointments!

A Mother's Day Message from a Dying Mommy 

to All Mothers of the World

Paige E. Hilfer was born on December 18, 1967 and died on March 22, 2012 at the age of 44.

Her beauty stood out more than her baldness. We didn't speak, and I didn't stare, but I sat in the airport terminal and wrote in my writing pad: 

"A true beauty is one whose features are so fine that she retains her loveliness 

even when her hair is gone."

Sad. So young.

Nestled in my assigned airplane seat, I hoped whoever sat next to me was prepared to sleep for the next three hours for I had a manuscript to edit. Oh yes, I did have work to do. Work God prepared for me to do before I was ever born.

Sweet bald-headed beauty stopped at my row and slid into the seat next to me.  I was quick to keep my eyes on the papers scattered in front of me.

"Hi. My name is Paige. Are you writing a book?"

Now that's a sentence that grabs a writer's attention. We started talking.

She had cancer. 

Deadly. 

And three children. 

Lively.

Eager to talk, she shared how her life and her parenting changed when she learned she had little time to impact the lives of her children. I told her I would write her thoughts and share them with the world. So, here is Paige's bucket list in her own words:

Meaningful moments will replace materialism as the goal for the day.

Family celebrations will not be missed.

My children are no longer my world. 
Instead, 
I want to show the world to my children.

Teach my children that  life is about real people who need real people
 — not about video games and the latest toys.

My days of selfishness 
— of materialism — 
are gone and 
my life giving back has begun.

Show my children the hurting in the world 
so compassion grows in their hearts
 and they see 
the world consists of more than 
what they see on video games.

Grow my children to be kind instead of selfish.

Grow my children to care more about people than possessions.

Teach my children that they are on this earth to be angels — messengers from God.

My new friend shared  how cancer changed her heart.

 I was such a selfish person, 
then cancer  hit 
and the angels arrived.

Angels without wings 
showed up daily at my door.

Angels handed me their tickets 
when they realized I was sick 
and there was no seat for me on the airplane.

Angels surrounded me 
with weeks of prepared meals 
and child care.

Angels gave $20,000 
to help with my medical expenses.

She smiled and said, 
"And God placed an angel 
in the airplane seat beside me today."

I felt the same way. God gave me the honor of sitting beside an angel named Paige.

Cancer was a gift that changed her thinking from

Let's see how many toys I can accumulate

to

Let's see how many lives I can touch before I die.

I'm thankful she touched mine.

I promised her I would write this Mother's Day message from her to you. May it live  on in your heart and in the lives of your children.as you teach them their purpose on earth:

To be Angels.

Happy Mother's Day dear moms! Cherish your babies every second God gives you to hold them and to teach them that  God has them on earth to be an angel to someone today.

Please pray for Paige's family on this Mother's Day. May they somehow find this post and be comforted.  Pray for all children who miss their mommy today and every day. May God splash serenity and 10,000 angels on their lives. And the dear  moms who watch their children die. May this Mother's Day be a day of beauty and peace that can only come from You, dear God.

"For we are God's workmanship, 

created in Christ Jesus to do good works, 

which God prepared in advance for us to do." 

Ephesians 2:20

Be an angel to a hurting mom this Mother's Day,

Elaine's Mother Day Message at Southside Alliance Church

Jesus Christ changed my life and my parenting. Listen in as I give my testimony and a Mother's Day message at Southside Alliance Church.

My intro begins at 1.01 on the video. Enjoy!

May your day be filled with Splashes of Serenity!

A Mother's Day Message from a Dying Mommy to All Mothers of the World

Paige E. Hilfer was born on December 18, 1967 and died on March 22, 2012 at the age of 44.

Her beauty stood out more than her baldness. We didn't speak, and I didn't stare, but I sat in the airport terminal and wrote in my writing pad:

"A true beauty is one whose features are so fine that she retains her loveliness 

even when her hair is gone."

Sad. So young.

Nestled in my assigned airplane seat, I hoped whoever sat next to me was prepared to sleep for the next three hours for I had a manuscript to edit. Oh yes, I did have work to do. Work God prepared for me to do before I was ever born.

Sweet bald-headed beauty stopped at my row and slid into the seat next to me.  I was quick to keep my eyes on the papers scattered in front of me.

"Hi. My name is Paige. Are you writing a book?"

Now that's a sentence that grabs a writer's attention. We started talking.

She had cancer. 

Deadly. 

And three children. 

Lively.

Eager to talk, she shared how her life and her parenting changed when she learned she had little time to impact the lives of her children. I told her I would write her thoughts and share them with the world. So, here is Paige's bucket list in her own words:

Meaningful moments will replace materialism as the goal for the day.

Family celebrations will not be missed.

My children are no longer my world. 
Instead, 
I want to show the world to my children.

Teach my children that  life is about real people who need real people
 — not about video games and the latest toys.

My days of selfishness 
— of materialism — 
are gone and 
my life giving back has begun.

Show my children the hurting in the world 
so compassion grows in their hearts
 and they see 
the world consists of more than 
what they see on video games.

Grow my children to be kind instead of selfish.

Grow my children to care more about people than possessions.

Teach my children that they are on this earth to be angels — messengers from God.

My new friend shared  how cancer changed her heart.

 I was such a selfish person, 
then cancer  hit 
and the angels arrived.

Angels without wings 
showed up daily at my door.

Angels handed me their tickets 
when they realized I was sick 
and there was no seat for me on the airplane.

Angels surrounded me 
with weeks of prepared meals 
and child care.

Angels gave $20,000 
to help with my medical expenses.

She smiled and said, 
"And God placed an angel 
in the airplane seat beside me today."

I felt the same way. God gave me the honor of sitting beside an angel named Paige.

Cancer was a gift that changed her thinking from

Let's see how many toys I can accumulate

to

Let's see how many lives I can touch before I die.

I'm thankful she touched mine.

I promised her I would write this Mother's Day message from her to you. May it live  on in your heart and in the lives of your children.as you teach them their purpose on earth:

To be Angels.

Happy Mother's Day dear moms! Cherish your babies every second God gives you to hold them and to teach them that  God has them on earth to be an angel to someone today.

Please pray for Paige's family on this Mother's Day. May they somehow find this post and be comforted.  Pray for all children who miss their mommy today and every day. May God splash serenity and 10,000 angels on their lives. And the dear  moms who watch their children die. May this Mother's Day be a day of beauty and peace that can only come from You, dear God.

"For we are God's workmanship, 

created in Christ Jesus to do good works, 

which God prepared in advance for us to do." 

Ephesians 2:20

Be an angel to a hurting mom this Mother's Day,

Elaine

Remembering the Day I Became a Mom

My only goal in life was to be a mom. I remember well the day I gave birth and God gave me a precious gift fresh from Heaven. Thanking God for the joys of motherhood, I share a reflection titled "Cheek-to-Cheek" from my book Splashes of Serenity: Bathtime Reflections for Drained Moms.

Words fail the feelings in my heart as I anticipate the arrival of my first-born child. Not as eager to greet me, she enjoys her peace and rest in the solace of my womb. I sing to her, talk to her, and jokingly name her "Hank." She is so loved and wanted in my life.

Her stubbornness showing even in her birth, she lingers too long and fights the muscles miraculously working to bring her from my womb into my arms. Hands strapped to my sides in preparation for an emergency C-section, I am thankful to be kept awake and alert. I don't want to miss any of her life. Her first cry brings big tears of joy and relief to me. Unable to move, I plead to see her and to touch this miracle. My arms ache more from desire to put my child in my arms than from the operating table restraints.

A faceless nurse brings still-crying Joanna to me and places our faces cheek-to-cheek. Our tears melt into one as a final farewell to our oneness. I smile and speak a simple, "I love you, Joanna." Her crying immediately stops as she hears the familiar voice of her mother. We are bonded forever. I long to dance through life with her cheek-to-cheek. To never leave her. To always assure her of my love. To share every tear and celebrate every joy.

God is like this. He desires to go dancing through life with us cheek-to-cheek, our tears meltng with His. He is always eager to say, "I love you, my child." How often we resist Him as we seek every road and piece of advice but His. We don't want to be born into His kingdom. We like it in our worldly womb. All the while, He is calling us to Himself, waiting for us to stop struggling in our own strength and to come to Him. He longs to hold us, comfort us, and help us through life's joys and trials. He is our "Abba"—Daddy, and He wants the first dance.

Oh Lord, I remember the joy of holding my first-born child. Remind me that you experience the same joy when I rest in Your arms. I don't want to dance through life without You. Let us go cheek-to-cheek together and let me always follow your lead.

Autographed copies of Splashes of Serenity: Bathtime Reflections for Drained Moms are available on this website. Thank you.

Blessed Mother's Day! Enjoy the treasure God gave to you when He gave you a child to love,

My Mother's Day Dreams Come True

All I ever wanted was to be a mom. As a child, my Christmas list consisted of one item--a baby doll. No career aspirations for me--I wanted to get married and have babies.

At age 19, having some female issues, I found myself sitting in an OB-GYN office. As though he was telling me "it's raining outside" the doctor gave his matter-of-fact diagnosis: "You'll never be able to have a baby."

Stunned, speechless, numb, I didn't catch the bus to my apartment. I just walked with no destination in mind. Seeing a telephone booth ahead, I entered this private shelter in a public place. Shutting the door, I crouched down, and cried and cried and cried from the most gut-wrenching pain I had ever felt. When I stopped crying, I called my mother, told her the news, and felt her pain and her hugs across the telephone line as she bore this anguish with me. Thank God for Mothers.

Better yet, thank God for God. The doctor was not God. God is God. And God had a better plan for me. God creates our babies in our wombs, He knows the plans He has for me. God's plan for me was to bless me--to give me three gifts--three babies.

I rejoice on Mother's Day that in God's sovereignty, He allowed me to be a Mom. I don't take that lightly. Many don't have this blessing. I, according to that doctor and the second opinion I also received, was not to have babies. What is impossible for a human body (and in the brains of two doctors), is possible for God. Nothing is impossible for Him.

I thank God for my three wonderful children, Joanna, Elizabeth, and Sam--my three treasures--my three surprise gifts. They exceed any expectations I had of the joys of motherhood. Thank You, God, for allowing me the privilege of bearing them and the fun of loving them and enjoying life with each one now grown to adulthood. Thank You, God, for the thousands of kisses and hugs and sweet love they've given back to me. Children truly are a gift to be treasured from You.

Happy Mother's Day, dear Moms. Treasure the blessing of Motherhood God has given to you.

Splashes of Serenity,

Elaine

Splashes of Serenity: Bathtime Reflections for Drained Moms

This book give away is now closed. And the winner is Mary Jane Russell!!! Congratulations, Mary Jane! Have a SPLASH on Mother's Day!!!

My friend, Diane Estrella reads a reflection from Splashes of Serenity: Bathtime Reflections for Drained Moms.

Please leave a comment on her blog, www.DianeEstrella.com and receive an opportunity for a free book in time for Mother's Day

Have a Splashes of Serenity Day!

Elaine

For Those Who Hurt on Mother's Day

On Mother's Day, not everyone is celebrating. Some are remembering children who send them flowers from Heaven. I've had the awesome privilege of sitting with mothers as their babies died. It's a sacred place where the presence of God is so evident--I felt I might touch Him. The loving arms of Jesus surround these dear parents as they let go and place their precious one back into the arms of The Precious One. In the most awful of life's imaginings, Peace that defies human understanding and could only come from God is experienced.

Why do babies die? Why do some live to be 94? I do not know. I do know we need not fear, because God ministers comfort we cannot understand.

This past winter, Reverend W. Emerson Ackerman went to live with Jesus. He was 94. He joins a baby named Beverly Maxine, gone to Heaven many years ago when she was two days old. Reverend Ackerman sat with Dr. and Mrs. David Reese as their beautiful blessing named Beverly returned to her Creator. He wrote a poem for Beverly's funeral. It touched my heart and I hope it will touch yours.

"We like to feel those infant cheeks,
Tho' ne'er to be by earthly mother caressed.
Yet, better still...
E'en now are nestled 'gainst our Savior's breast.

The tiny hands,
Tho' destined not for use in time's employ,
Yet, better still...
Do clap at each sinner's repentance with joy.

That unspoken voice,
Tho' not in earth's hue and cry to raise,
Yet, better still...
Will learn in Heaven our Lord's blest Name to praise.

We like to feel--yet because it's real
And our beloved Lord has willed it--to say,
'Tis not better...
It's best!'"

--Reverend W. Emerson Ackerman

I pray today for women who hurt: For those whose heart's desire for a child lies hollow in a barren womb, may Jesus fill your life with love and joy and contentment. For those suffering from their decision to abort an unborn, may you know that Jesus will forgive you and make you whole again. For moms whose children are estranged from them, may Jesus restore your relationship. For moms whose children walk in the ways of darkness, may Jesus grab hold of these children and place them on a straight path. For mothers who know the sting of the death of a child, may Jesus fill your empty heart with His comfort and peace.

Thank You for our children, Lord. I know they really belong to You, and You can take them back at any moment. May we not live in fear of that truth, but in trust. You assure us that if the worst happens, Your loving arms will carry us through difficult days. Everything under Heaven belongs to you. There couldn't be a better parent and that brings me peace.

May Jesus fill your days with His Serenity,

Elaine