Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Pre-Wedding + Post-Marriage Counseling = A Win/Win for Newlyweds

Our wedding was a dream, but our marriage was a nightmare. We were married three weeks the first time I slept on the couch. I packed my husband's bags three times our first year of marriage.

I suspect (and divorce statistics confirm) this is the case for many newlyweds.

Our pre-wedding counseling didn't cover the above scenario, but post-marriage counseling could.

Is pre-wedding counseling effective? Do the engaged duo even hear what the counselor is saying? I doubt it. She's thinking about wedding gowns, and reception halls. He's thinking about the wedding night!

After the rice is thrown and the trip to the Caribbean is over,  Mr. and Mrs. face the reality of fading tans and rice needing swept from the floor. Disillusioned, they look at each other and wonder Now what?

Post-wedding counseling. That's what! Perhaps now counselors will have a couple's full attention.

Please couples, contact the person who gave you pre-marriage counseling and ask for another appointment.

Please counselors, make post-marriage counseling part of your mandatory wedding package.

I first heard of post-marriage counseling from a Pastor at my book table. He bought We All Married Idiots, took it home, read it, and returned to buy more. He said Idiots was a great book for post-marriage counseling. Laughing, he admitted that a few months after the wedding the couple may start thinking Oh dear! I married an idiot!

Last week an engaged couple notified me that they showed We All Married Idiots to the person doing their pre-marriage counseling. Their counselor read Idiots. loved it, and will use this book for pre- and post-marriage counseling. What a thrill for me!

I do hope post-marriage counseling catches on. Marriage is in crisis. We must not give up efforts to teach couples that marriage is not about the wedding plans. Marriage is about keeping the vows.

Splashes of Serenity prayed for marriages today!


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