Monday, May 21, 2012

When Our Marriage Hit the Wall

We celebrated our 40th anniversary with 12 months of anniversary trips. Who knew that this trip to the 1,000 Islands almost didn't happen. Every day we thank God for our marriage.

When I asked Dan what he wanted for our 40th anniversary, he answered, "Forty more years with you." I cried.  This is the man I adore and who adores me more. To think, I almost threw him away 30 years earlier when our marriage hit the wall.

Bam!  My heart was beating but I didn't feel alive. There was no energy left for one more try at happiness. The wall was too tall and too thick. I sat on the floor and sobbed.

This was the worst and the best day of our marriage. We didn't have an argument. There was no fight. I just couldn't cope any longer. Marriage was difficult and I wasn't strong enough to surmount so many mountains.

In desperation I stood at my kitchen window, tears streaming down my face, crying out to God. Dear Jesus, I can't do this any more. I surrender my life and my marriage to you, Jesus Christ.  Do with it whatever You please.

Wow! He pleased to do a lot. Love flooded my heart. Love for my Savior Jesus Christ and love for my husband Dan. Stress, fear, sadness, bitterness, anxiety flew out that kitchen window and peace, calm, joy, happiness, rest filled my soul. My nightmare was over.

Looking back, I realize I expected Dan to satisfy needs that only Jesus Christ can fill. That day I realized that my happiness and fulfillment did not come from Dan or my children or our material goods. Happiness comes from a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Have you hit the wall? Jesus can help you. He invites all who are weak and heavy laden to come to Him and He will give you rest. Please know when you hit the wall, there is One Whose hand is reaching for yours and He will help you climb to the top and stand in victory! I know because He did it for us.

My heart hurts for hurting marriages. That's why I wrote We All Married Idiots: Three Things You Will  Never Change About Your Marriage and Ten Things You Can. Praying our marriage story encourages you to keep running through those difficult days when you hit the wall.

May your marriage enjoy 40 years + of splashes of serenity!


  1. I pray your book saves many marriages! I celebrate 35 years with my husband very soon and I well remember hitting that wall several times and how grateful I was to get through it.

  2. Terri, I hope your comment inspires someone who has hit the wall to keep pushing through. Thanks for your comment. Be blessed. Thanks for your honesty as well.

  3. Elaine,

    Thank you for sharing. I was already excited about this book being released and the positive feedback it has received already BUT to know you and Dan celebrated 40 years of marriage in the same year as the birth of the book...priceless gift from above.

    Eph. 3:20-21 Girlfriend!

    Lisa M Buske

  4. Our marriage hit a wall as well after 10 years and we actually began divorce proceedings. I was angry, bitter, hurt, and even depressed. God interceded and proceedings called off. He turned our marriage around slowly, that it would become a marriage of His making, and not our own. And now, 23 years later, we are more in love than the day we married. I love the flutter in my heart when my husband steps into the room. So grateful for the love our God has shown us and our marriage.

  5. Shari, what a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing. I'm in tears knowing we share similar experiences. I hope many faltering marriages will read these posts and your comment and be encouraged. Thanks for sharing your heart. Be blessed, dear friend.



I would love hearing from you! Thanks for sharing!