My covid Journey — And I Saw Jesus

My last night in the hospital.

She could have come in, 

checked my vitals, and

said "Good bye."

But she,

in spite of her own weariness, asked,

"Would you like me to wash your feet?"

And I see Jesus.

"Now that I the Lord and Teacher,

have washed your feet,

you also should wash one another's feet.

I have set you an example that you should do as

I have done for you."

~ Jesus ~

John 13:14-15

Make me a servant, Lord.

Show me how to ease the path of another's hard journey.

Open my eyes to their suffering.

Open my heart to their pain.

Open my mouth to bring comfort.

Open my hands to carry burdens.

Never judging.

Always loving.

Like the covid healthcare workers.

 

Like You, Jesus.

May I follow in Your steps.

Amen.

My Covid Journey — When My Bubble Burst

The writing was on the wall.

I woke each morning to a white board greeting:

Elaine Miller weight _________________.

Well, good morning to you too!

Will someone send me a sledgehammer please.

The truth is the drugs pumped into me 24/7 made me round.

I laughed realizing five years ago 

when diagnosed with leukemia and a compromised immune system,

"You need to live in a bubble."

 were my oncologist's instructions.

Covid popped that bubble.

So, instead of living in a bubble, ha!

I was round like a bubble.

And my dear Dan says,

"You'll be my bubbleicious!"

Unfortunately, neither bubble baths nor showers are 

safe for anyone on massive oxygen.

 "Spa Day," 

announced a health care worker.

 What a great scalp massage she gave, 

washing my hair using the

cute shower cap filled with dry shampoo.

After weeks of dry shampoos, 

I was hungry for a real shower and shampoo.

My request was denied.

"You can not take that amount of oxygen into a shower.   

It isn't safe."

The nurse's response was final.

 "Easy solution! 

Take me off the oxygen and 

let me jump in the shower for a real quick shampoo.

I promise, I'll hurry."

"If you got a shower without the oxygen,

you would die."

My bubble burst.

The reality of the gravity of my disease hit me.

And yet,

 I knew

God's peace,

God's joy,

God's presence,

God's love. 

And God knew

my heart for Him,

my love for Him,

my peace in Him,

my assurance of Him.

Isn't it wonderful we have a God who doesn't care if 

we look like a bubble or a toothpick. 

Whether our hair is dirty or clean, 

He doesn't notice. 

I was a mess in my own eyes, 

but in God's eyes, well, 

He saw my heart.

" . . . . the Lord does not look at the things people look at. 

People look at the outward appearance, but 

the Lord looks at the heart." 

1 Samuel 16:7

 

My Covid Journey — The Love Behind the Mask

 Singing was great therapy for my spirit as well as my lungs.

I sang hymns, childhood rhymes, and happy songs.

 

Often making up my own lyrics, 

like this one to the tune of 

"Little Green Apples."

She wakes me at 5 a.m. and she says, 

"Hi." 

"Gotta give you a little poke and

 kiss this covid good-bye."

She holds my hand,

Loves with her eyes, and says,

"It's okay to cry."

Says a little prayer.

How I sense her care

so deep and so rare

she's willing to die.

And if that's not loving me?

Then all I've got to say,

 God protect the health care workers.

 Protect them from this disease.

Keep them safe from me.

My heart will never be the same, because 

I've known the love of Christ and the

beautiful people 

whose love can never be hidden

 behind a mask.

I will be forever thankful and appreciative of

health care workers who, 

in many ways,

suffer more than their patients.

Thank you, 

dear servants of God.

You touched my heart as you healed my disease.

My Covid Journey — In the Arms of Angels

"Your hands are so cold.

Let me warm them."

She cupped her gloved hands 

around my oxygen-deprived ones 

and warmed me. 

My nurse.

Jesus in flesh during a pandemic.

Was she warned not to touch covid patients?

If so, she missed that class.

I was touched,

 cared for,

prayed for,

loved.

She entered my room armed to serve.

Day after day, 

week after week, 

always a smile,

a cheery word,

a reassuring touch,

a tender hug.

She leaves with a smile.

Off to spread her angel's wings 

and blessings to the covid patients in

 the next room,  

the next room, 

the next room.

She didn't have to warm my hands.

Blood pressure. Check.

Oxygen level. Check.

Heart rate. Check.

Do you need anything? Check.

Walk out the door. Check.

Warm my hands wasn't the nurse's duty.

She didn't need a list to know

Being an angel,

representing Christ,

loving as Jesus loved,

serving others more than serving yourself

was her job this cold morning.

Employed by a hospital, but

working for Jesus.

Thank you, dear medical staff. 

You are heroes with angel's wings.

God bless you and protect you.

"See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to

guard you along the way . . . . "

Exodus 23:20

Does God want you to be someone's angel today?

My Covid Journey — Why Me? covid-19 Was Not in My Five-Year Plan

Why? 

Why am I here isolated in a covid ward? 

Ha! 

For the same reason you are there!

To glorify God.

To bring light and hope to a dark and hopeless world.

When cancer surprised me five years ago, 

instead of wondering 

Why me?

I pondered

What now? 

How then will I live the rest of my days?

I determined to see my cancer as an opportunity to 

 bless the people in my new cancer world.

Not an obstacle to God's plan (or my plan) for my life, or

a reason to complain and be miserable.

 I must admit though,

covid-19 was not in my five year plan.

Believing God has a plan and a purpose for every day of my life,

I asked Him to reveal His purpose for me in the covid season of my life.

Look around you, Elaine. 

You are surrounded by hurting people.

What can you do to help them?

I can pray.

If these were my final days,

I wanted to end them well,

with joy,

smiling,

praying,

watching for opportunities to bless.

  I was overwhelmed with 

love and prayers and compassion for Caregivers.

As I watched, 

I saw 

their suffering,

their exhaustion,

their tears,

their sacrifice,

their daily dance with death.  

They risk their lives so I might live.

They silently serve sacrificially.

My purpose in a hospital covid bed?

 Pray for every person who entered my room.

Doctors, 

nurses, 

phlebotomists,

 physical therapists, 

respiration therapists,

 food deliverers, 

cleaners.

All sacrificed their health to care for contagious covid sufferers. 

And they did so with such love.

What was the result?

Some cried.

Some returned my prayer.

All thanked me.

Some held me,

touched me (not recommended in covidland),

and prayed with me.

We cried together and trusted Jesus, 

knowing as Moses knew when God spoke to him during a plague,

"But I have raised you up for this very purpose, 

that I might show you My power and 

that My Name might be proclaimed in all the earth." 

Exodus 9:16 

When our days are weary, 

let's not ask God, "why?" 

Instead, realize there is a purpose in suffering. 

Proclaim His Name.

Show His Power!

And watch the suffering fade away.

 

Splashes of Serenity,