Monday, May 15, 2017

Why Our Marriage Works—Mutual Respect

Last night was a comedy of errors in our bedroom. The previous owners added a master bedroom suite. Sweet! And huge! Bigger isn't always better because there are 31 steps between my bed and the master bath. We old folks sometimes make several trips to that room in one night. Before morning, I've already had my exercise for the day.

Last night I woke to total darkness, half asleep I tried to make my way to the potty. First I walked into the bed post, losing my footing. Fifteen steps later, Dan's music stand toppled.

 One baby step later I crashed into Dan's dresser.

A night isn't complete without walking into the wall!

I comforted myself that I was in the vicinity of my destination as my toe stubbed the scale.

The name "Thinner" on the scale is a misnomer, btw.

Finally, at my destination, a little bruised and a lot awake, I flipped on the night light.

Dan murmured a sleepy"Are you all right?" as I returned to our bed now illuminated by the angel on our bathroom wall.

This morning, he asked "What happened last night?"

"The night light wasn't on and I walked in total darkness to the bathroom."

Dan, in remorse, said, "I am so sorry. I can't believe I forgot to turn on the night light. I always turn on the night light."

"No, it's my fault. I was the last one in the bathroom before bed. I should have turned on the night light."

"It's not your fault. It's my fault." Dan insisted.

"No it's not your fault. I'm at fault."

Wow! We almost had a fight not having a fight. How differently this scenario could have played years ago when we seemed to argue about everything.

"Why didn't you turn on the night light!!!"

"Well, why didn't you? You were the last one in the bathroom!!! It's not my fault you forgot."

"Well, I suppose it's my fault you left your music stand where I could trip over it!"

"Hey, if your feet weren't so big, maybe you wouldn't have tripped." (Dan would never say that even back then. But some spouses would.)

See how the anger escalates and the argument changes from the night light to a personal attack? Not good.

Philippians 2:3-4 is our favorite marriage verse, how we live, and how our marriage works:

 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition, or vain conceit, 
but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 
Each of you should look not only to your own interests, 
but also to the interests of others."

Mutual respect. 
That's why our marriage works. 
We each look at the others interests before we look at our own. 
We each consider the other better than ourselves. 
Now, that's a win-win marriage!

Choose your arguments. What does it matter who forgot to turn on the night light? It may have mattered last night, but it won't matter next week.

Yet every angry word pounds a nail into your marriage coffin. 
Choose your words and your arguments well.

May God splash serenity on your marriage as you follow His Light to your final destination.



  1. I'm sorry you banged into so many things last night, but this made me laugh this morning as you described it. I'm thankful that God transforms all of our relationships! :-) Love you!

  2. The words we say can make or break a day. Choose wisely, because the days are precious. Love you, my friend.


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