Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Baby Steps or Possibly a Leap Towards a Better Marriage

Marriages are fragmenting. This most important of human relationships--the basis of our families, the glue that holds our children together is falling apart. Why is this happening? What's wrong with us?

Looking back at my 40 years of marriage, I remember the best advice I ever received: "If you want a marriage that keeps getting better, read a book on marriage once a month." That's a lot of marriage books.

The sad truth is that publishers tell me books on marriage don't sell well. It's heartbreaking that we swarm to books about vampires, politicians, wizards and such; yet ignore reading anything that will improve the foundation--the core--of our families. We choose to live in fantasyland or a reality show, instead of facing the truth of our hopeless state of matrimony.

Will reading books on marriage change your marriage? Maybe not dramatically. My goal in reading each book is to make one change, take one baby step toward a better marriage. If I read 12 books a year, that's 12 baby steps, which in my mind constitutes a LEAP! There is no doubt my marriage is better because of my passion for reading books on marriage.

Am I trying to sell my book? Yes indeed! Why? Because I know marriages will be helped by it. Maybe not a leap towards a better marriage, but certainly a baby step. Please contact me at SplashesofSerenity@yahoo.com to order a copy of Splashes of Serenity: Bathtime Reflections For Drained Wives. A great Valentine's Day gift!

Please order before February as I will be leaving the country and celebrating Valentine's Day with my love.

So, what is your favorite marriage book? What has helped you take a baby step or a leap towards a better marriage? I'd love hearing from you.

May your home be filled with love, splashes of serenity, and books on marriage,



  1. My favorite marraige book is "Splashes of Serenity, Bathtime Reflections for drained wives" and I really do mean that. Elaine, your book is filled with gentle truths and is helpful and encouraging. I hope many more will buy this book and reap the rewards that will come if they simply try to take a baby step.

  2. Lisa, your words of encouragement brought tears to my eyes. I thank God for allowing me to speak through books which allow Him to work in people's lives. What an awesome and humbling experience. Be blessed, dear Lisa and Terry.

  3. I too have so many helpful books on marriage that have enabled me to grow as a wife and lover. Dave and I make it a habit to be reading a 'marriage' book together all the time. Having been married 40 years also, we have read many many books over the years. A recent one that was truly eye opening is "What did you Expect" by Paul Tripp. (We used the DVD in one of our adult Sunday School classes also, adding discussion times--extremely helpful) It gets at the 'core' of marriage struggles and where true help is. Most of our troubles lie not in our spouse but in us....smile! Thanks for your Blog!

  4. Lynette, thank you for your input. I hope many read Paul Tripp's book and order his DVDs as well. Let's keep those suggestions coming.

  5. Mom, lovely post. Thank you for filling my bookshelf with so many great marriage books over the years. And thank you for the marriage example you and Dad have portrayed daily throughout the years. Love you.

  6. Lizzy, I do believe "Sheet Music" by Kevin Lehman was one of your favorites. I know it is one of ours. Gave a copy to all of my children.

  7. I'm thinking of other books I would recommend: "Love Life" which is an oldie but goodie by Dr. Ed Wheat. "Love and Respect" and "Sacred Marriage" are powerful. Then there is my new book not yet published which I am excited for people to read. Stay tuned.

  8. Your books are both wonderful and I know the next ones will be just as encouraging to women. Hugs to you! :O)

  9. Thanks, Diane. More book recommendations are coming in privately: "Solomon on Sex" is a great book. "Fit to Be Tied" by Bill and Lynne Hybels is recommended for every High School graduate to read to find the right partner and stay married once that partner is found. Blessings to all who read these books. May your marriages thrive.

  10. Elaine - I tell people that God has shared His heart for marriages with me, through His leading through some difficult times in my own. That has been a blessing in my own marriage and a cause for a lot of heartache as I look out into our world. My husband and I teach the Marriage Preparation course at our church, and continue to "research" by reading and studying new works on marriage all the time. I'd LOVE to see your new book. In the meantime, here are my list of favorites that I shared with my MOPS group, and will be sharing with two others in Elmira and Big Flats, as I've been asked to speak on this topic next month. My first speaking engagements!
    "Love & Respect" and "Sacred Marriage" are must reads. Others I've loved are "From Anger to Intimacy: How Forgiveness Can Transform Your Marriage" and Kevin Leman's "7 Things He'll Never Tell You...But You Need to Know". ("Sheet Music" is a fabulous one too!)

  11. You are on your way, Danielle. Very excited to hear you and your husband are teaching on marriage and you are beginning the MOPS circuit. May God use you greatly for His Glory.

    FYI, Dave Linn posted a review on Amazon, sharing how he used my book in a marriage class. He read a reflection during each class and then the class discussed it. Sounds like it went very well.

    Praising God for how He uses us for His Purposes. Be blessed.

  12. More recommended books:
    Letters to Karen
    Letters to Phillip
    Building Your Mate's Self Esteem
    Incompatibility--Grounds for a Great Marriage
    His Needs, Her Needs


I would love hearing from you! Thanks for sharing!