Wednesday, March 24, 2021

My covid Journey — Home — Unaware of the War Lurking to Destroy Me

Yay! I'm going home!. 
Little did we know by tomorrow, 
I'd be back in the hospital.
With joy and excitement Dan brought me home loaded with war weapons — 
a walker, 
potty chair, 
shower chair,
 a large and loud oxygen concentrator
 (used to pump oxygen into my lungs), 
many oxygen tanks of all shapes and sizes, 
and feet and more feet and more feet of oxygen tubes
 (used to trip us throughout the day and night). 

We were armed and ready for war! 

Doctors said the covid soldiers occupying my lungs 
would not be defeated for at least six months. 

The battle began before I ever entered my front door.
 I couldn't walk.
Heavier artillery was needed.
 We didn't realize and no one told us I might need a wheel chair. 
  Collapsed and dead weight on my front sidewalk,
 we stayed calm. 
I assured Dan
I could sit on my fanny and scoot backwards up the sidewalk.
 What a sight! 
Tough and determined, I made it to the three stairs. 
Turning over on hands and knees I crawled up three stairs
 into our beautiful, peaceful, healthy home. 
Now what? 

Our daughters arrived to help and see their much-missed mama.
 Joy and emotions overtook me and I lost my breath, literally. 

Do you know what it is like to not be able to breathe? 
It's the worst. 
Gasping for breath that isn't there even with a breathing tube.

 covid soldiers had me down and 
continued thrusting daggers into my pneumonia-filled lungs. 
Pain unbearable, 
somehow, someone got me to bed as we all wondered, 
Why didn't the doctor send or prescribe the pain meds I had at the hospital?

Early morning I could not get up. 
Gasping for breath, 
my oxygen levels plummeting, 
the pain in my chest unbearable, 
I screamed for an ambulance. 

Dear, dear EMT's. 
So loving,
 so self-sacrificing. 
Do you think they wanted to touch this covid patient? 
I'm sure not.

Were they remembering one of their own who had recently died of covid?
Were thoughts of their own danger in their minds?

Did they want to infect themselves and the inside of their ambulance with covid soldiers? 
 No way. 
But, they did. 

They cared.
They loved.
  Thoughts of my needs prevailed.  

Off we went to the hospital 
less than 24 hours from the joy-filled ride home the day before.

This is not such a happy post.
 Yet, in the end, we won the battle. 
I'm almost off all oxygen, 
back to bike riding with my husband, 
breathing well on my own, 
the pain in my chest is gone. 
Still, covid soldiers remain in 40 percent of both lungs. 
Six months later, 
doctors say another six months of recovery. 
We wait and hope and do not lose heart.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. 
Though outwardly we are wasting away,
 yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 
For our light and momentary troubles 
are achieving for us an eternal glory that 
far outweighs them all.
 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, 
but on what is unseen. 
For what is seen is temporary, 
but what is unseen is eternal."
 2 Corinthians 4:16

Whatever is going on in your life, pray, trust Jesus, and don't give up!


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