Oh my, I don't want to open up a political can of worms. But last night as I watched the Vice Presidential debates, Joe Biden taught me how not to get along with my spouse.
1. When your spouse is talking, don't interrupt. Listen to all he/she has to say and then calmly voice your opinion. Communication experts suggest after listening you repeat back what you heard. Before voicing your opinion say "This is what I heard you say.... Is that correct?" After voicing your thoughts, your spouse can then repeat what he/she heard you say. Resolution of conflicts is like a gentle ping pong back and forth. Being slammed never settled anything.
2. Don't ever laugh or ridicule your beloved while they are speaking in private or in public. When you do, you are ridiculing yourself, for you and your spouse are one person.
Marital disagreements are not debates. You aren't being timed by a moderator. There is no winner or loser. You and your spouse are on the same side. The goal is not to win an election, but to resolve a conflict.
On an encouraging note, I heard from a reader this morning: "You have been a great encouragement to me! Actually, I am hoping to apply one of the principals you taught about in your book this very night....Letting go! My husband made a silly comment in a rather unthoughtful way and I now have to make the choice whether to be angry or just forget about it and move on. :O) Moving on now! Anyways, thanks so much!"
We All Married Idiots: Three Things You Will Never Change About Your Marriage and Ten Things You Can is changing lives!
Have a wonderful weekend celebrating your marriage!