Monday, October 19, 2015

The Funny Life of the Pastor's Wife

"Your only job as the Pastor's wife is to sleep with the Pastor!" A disgruntled congregant snapped  at me once. My willing husband responded, "Sounds good to me!" Oh dear.

Hilarious! But not really. We Pastors' wives hear comments I am sure other wives never hear. Who ever sneered at the plumber's wife that her only job is to sleep with the plumber? I mean, really?

Pastors' wives live in a world many outside that world cannot understand. But we get it, don't we girls? We understand that life in a fishbowl has blessings and heartaches.

If we let it, life in the parsonage can get us down.

Some pastors' wives seem stuck in the "poor me" mode. Blogs and magazine articles affirm the miserable life of the Pastor's wife.   This should not be so. 

If any wife should know joy in her marriage and calling, shouldn't it be the ministry wife?

I love to laugh! Perhaps I laugh too much. Years ago I was told,  "You are the only pastor's wife I know who laughs." Well, that is not the case, for I know many PW's who laugh, but none who make me laugh as much as Rhonda Rhea.

I met Rhonda last summer at the Advanced Writers and Speakers Conference. 

Rhonda Rhea is the author of Join the Insanity: Crazy-Fun Life in the Pastors' Wives Club. Oh my. You must read her book. Join the Insanity is the best book for PW's I've ever read (and I think I've read them all!) She tells it like it is as a Pastor's wife and then gives right-on scriptural truth of how God expects a woman who walks in obedience to God's call on her life to respond. 

You'll laugh all the way through this funny, yet deep, and honest help for the girls in the parsonage.

Here are quotes from Insanity that I underlined:

"When your husband is meeting the urgent need du jour at church, it can feel as if the church gets first dibs on him and the wife gets whatever's left. How do we deal?"

"Once it becomes all about what we're giving up, we lose sight of the ministry."

" When we get to heaven, I don't think our name tags will say Pastors Wife on them anywhere. I think the name tag will likely just read His."

Purchase Join the Insanity at

Check out Rhonda Rhea's website at

An elder once chastised me with his frown-filled face, "Why are you so happy all the time?" I guess he wasn't aware of Isaiah 35:10 (NIV): ". . . everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away." That is my prayer for you dear ladies. Don't lose your joy. 

Being married to a Pastor is an amazing blessing from God. He chose you to be married to one He called to service. What a privilege.

On this Pastor's Appreciation Month, please remember you are much more than a PW. Your name tag reads "HIS!"

Splashes of Serenity and joy to all you dear sweet PW's who do so much more than sleep with the Pastor,



  1. Thank you so much for this post Elaine. I think I've read all the PW books too and can't wait to get his one!! Thank you for the reminder that we are HIS!! That is the encouragement I want to give to any woman PW or not. Our identity is NOT in any label but WHOSE we are. Thank you!!

  2. Jody, Join the Insanity puts joy back in the parsonage. I so loved Rhonda Rhea's positive outlook of the blessings. Truly, the best I've read. Blessings to you, dear Jody, on your journey in the PW Club. Love you.

  3. Elaine! You blessed me right here OH SO MUCH! Thank you, sweet friend. I love it that you and I have the same heartbeat for loving on our pastors' wife girlfriend-sistahs. And I love the *us pic* too! If I haven't mentioned it lately: you so totally rock!

  4. Rhonda, your book is the best PW book I have read. I meant that. What a joy to meet you last summer.

  5. Thanks for posting this ... I just shared it on Facebook, Elaine. You two are a blessing to so many.

  6. Thank you for your contribution in Join the Insanity. Great book written by those who know life in a parsonage. Blessings to you!

  7. Sounds like a good book. Thanks for letting we pastor's wives know. :)

  8. Rhonda was my pastor's wife several years ago in Hazelwood, Missouri. Now I'm a pastor's wife myself. I've been meaning to get this book for a while. Now I know I have to!

  9. Yes, please do. You will enjoy it and read it over and over.

  10. I don't think I knew you were a PW, Connie. So glad you are introduced to this book as every PW should have it and be encouraged by it.


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