Friday, September 8, 2017

Nurturing a Marriage While Nurturing a Child



 How do I satisfy the needs of an infant in need of feeding 
and a husband in need of loving?  

Good question!

 I can relate. After five years of marriage and two doctors telling me I would never have children, I gave birth to my first child. She became the center of my universe and my dear husband was somewhere in space orbiting around us.

 Trying to mother and to wife seemed impossible.
 I just could not do it all.  

One day my husband jolted me with the truth,
 "What good will it do our baby if we end up divorced?"

  The best thing we can do for our child is work at and preserve our marriage.
 
Still, children take care and time and cannot be put back in the toy box until another day. They have needs—not just wants.

So, how do I balance my time and make my husband a priority?
Both parents need to exercise patience realizing this is a busy season in your life.
At the same time, there are things you can do to show your husband he is important to you.
  • Walk in his shoes. He may be feeling left out. You carried the baby in your womb, you delivered the little one, and for some, your breasts are feeding the baby. Some men feel jealous of the attention you are giving your baby. Your husband needs assurance that he’s still “The Man!”
  • Date him. Don’t fear leaving your children with a baby sitter. Nurture your marriage through a regular date night with your husband.  
  • Kiss him. Really KISS him. Pack some passion behind that pucker! Show your children how much you love their daddy by greeting him regularly and as a surprise with a kiss.
  • Make your bedroom a love sanctuary. 1 Corinthians 7:3 says “Husbands and wives should satisfy each other’s sexual needs.” I don’t read, “unless there are children in the house” in that scripture. I know moms are tired. I also know a husband can feel like someone stole his wife when the baby is born.  
  • Take care of yourself. Eat healthy, sleep when you can, and exercise. I know that seems impossible, but you’ll benefit (and so will your marriage) if you care for yourself.
  • Read a book on marriage. My books were written for drained moms and drained wives to be read in five-minute snippets. I know they have helped marriages get back on track. 
  • Pray. Ask God to help you prioritize and be the wife and mother He created you to be.
As moms we want to give our best to our children. It begins by giving our best to our husbands. Nurturing your marriage really does go a long way toward nurturing your child.

I’d love to hear other suggestions. How do you let your husband know he is important?




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2 comments:

Mary said...

Let your husband be a daddy. Sometimes it's easy to fall into that role of doing it all for your child... Invite him into that space, too. After all, he needs to nurture that relationship with his child as much as you do.

Don't be afraid to recognize that this is a SEASON of life. Young moms, especially those who are breastfeeding, may be emotional, hormonal, and may sometimes feel "touched out." It's ok to not be intimate, too. Just remember to connect and nurture your relationship in other ways, and take care of yourself. It's hard to feel "in the mood" when you haven't showered in 3 days or slept in two.

Keep communication open. Strive for patience. Remember, your husband is your partner, and your child's daddy. Don't let your maternal instinct to take care of everything push him aside during this crucial bonding time. This is a growth experience for him, too. You're in this together. Hang in there, Mamas.

Elaine W. Miller said...

Excellent! Especially, letting the child grow you together as a couple and a family. Let your husband be a daddy! I remember my husband wasn't wild about me breastfeeding because he felt cheated of the joy of holding his baby and feeding her/him. He asked once, "When do I get to hold the baby?" Thanks for your comments, Mary.

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