Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Warning: Don't Promote Your Book in an Ambulance!

Here's what not to do in an ambulance: Don't tell the EMT the name of my new book, We All Married Idiots, while he's inserting an IV. The dear man cracked up and I have three needle pokes to prove it.
It was comforting for my husband riding in the car behind observing everyone laughing in the ambulance. He figured I hadn't died. Phew!

Entering the ER, the EMT announced to the world, "She wrote a book and guess what it's called? We All Married Idiots!" It's pretty cool when your book is marketed in the emergency room by a kind EMT. I thank God for his compassion towards me and his passion for a book about idiots. (BTW, the EMTs were wonderful and skilled. My teeny veins were the issue.)

Don't worry. I'm all right. But for 15 minutes I thought my days on earth were done. Sudden and severe chest pain prompted a 911 call. My goal to never ride in an ambulance was laid to rest. A day in the ER laughing and crying through Marley and Me, while being poked by needles and skinned alive by the tape adhering a dozen heart monitor stickers to my body ended with the diagnosis of an esophogal spasm--an uncommon event that has the same symptoms as a heart attack (and should be treated like a heart attack--because it might be one).

I'm fine and I'm thankful. Thankful for John 3:16, "For God loved the world so much that He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life."

Do you believe that? I do. And that belief and faith gives me assurance that had today been the day this idiot left earth, I'd be alive in Heaven celebrating Christmas with Jesus. What a blessed thought! It really is a splash of serenity to be ready to die.

Are you ready? That chest pain was sudden. It came with no warning. One day it will happen to each of us. Our life on earth will end.

In my book, We All Married Idiots, I make the case that we really are all idiots, but we don't have to be fools. Psalm 14:1 says "A fool says in his heart, 'There is no God.'" It's all right to be an idiot, but don't be a fool.

Tests proved my heart is physically healthy. My belief in Jesus assures my heart is spiritually healthy. I'll continue an abundant life on earth knowing eternal life awaits!

I hope you have the best Christmas of your life and believe in the Baby in the Manger. He was no idiot. He is God. And on the cross He took the punishment for our sins so we idiots could be reconciled to God. Thanking God for His care and His great love for me and for you.

Merry Christmas!



  1. Praise God, dear Sister, that you are well! That does not sound like a fun way to spend a day, even if you did get to watch a movie and your book got a little more exposure. (Check "Promoting at the local hospital" off your to-do list.)

    I praise God that we will all be reunited one day, but this old world is a dark place, and it needs all the light it can get. What a blessing... we praise God when death does visit, knowing our loved ones are safe in His hands, and we praise Him in life, because we can praise Him together here for a while longer.

    Merry Christmas indeed, my friend! You and your amazing talents are a gift of hope.


  2. Thanks, Mary! Merry Christmas to you, dear friend. Days like yesterday give a new appreciation of life on earth and eternal life to come. It's all good when Jesus holds your hands.

  3. ELAINE!!!!!!!! I'm so glad you are okay! I'm praying for you! What a blessing you are to all you meet, including EMT workers and hospital staff! :-)

    Love you!

  4. So glad you are still with us. Merry Christmas.

  5. Elaine, we went through similar circumstances to discover my wife Ellen was not having a heart attack. It's too bad neither of us had a book to promote at the time. And we went to the hospital in a car rather than an ambulance. I appreciate two things--your humor and your happier-than-a-heart-attack diagnosis.

    God bless and merry Christmas,

  6. Too funny - and yet such a great message wrapped in such a fun post. And VERY glad you are all right. Thanks for the interesting info as well :)

  7. So glad you're still here with us and me especially!!! Hugs and love ya :O)

  8. Oh my goodness, while you have blogged about this experience I beleive God just provided the best platform and story to enhance your marketing - only God could have promoted your book to an entire ER, their families, the EMT company and their coworkers and families - even in the scariest of times you placed your trust in HIM and He is faithful. He used this scary time to both strengthen your faith and grow His kingdom as more await your book.

    I'm so glad you are my dear friend. Much hugs, prayer and healing for you! Let the kiddos spoil you this Christmas while you sit with your feet up.

    Lisa :)

  9. Must've been the publisher messing around with your book title that pushed you over the edge. Praise God you pervailed... per-veiled, ah, persevered.

  10. Oh, Mrs. Miller!! I'm so glad you're all right!! Thank the Lord it wasn't something more severe, right?!

  11. I feel very loved. Thanks everyone.

    Eddie, your comment made me laugh. You know, I wondered if you would still publish my book if I was gone. Now, you don't have a choice.

    Merry Christmas, friends!

  12. Elaine I am so glad you are fine and still laughing at your troubles when you can. I miss you and love you! Merry CHRISTmas!

  13. Oh Elaine I am so glad that you are okay. That is so scarry, but yet another Christmas miracle that you are still here with us ! On the flip side your post was hilarious and the image of the EMT cracking up while trying to stabalize you had me rolling on the floor. You are too much, even in distress!!! Enjoy your holidays and your new found health.

    Amy Quonce

  14. I'm so glad you're ok and that God provided wonderful people to surround you while you awaited the diagnosis. He is so good. What a gift we have in Him at Christmas and throughout the year!!

    Love to you and Merry Christmas!!

  15. Elaine, obviously God is still using you on this earth and we that have been blessed to hear you speak and read your books, know what a blessing you are. Here's another warning for you, "don't laugh at the misspelled lab technicians name on his first week at work while drawing your blood either" Honestly, it just happened to me, I was reading his name tag (since I had heard it was his first week) and noticed is said "Brain" and I burst out laughing just as he went to poke me and I asked him if that was REALLY his name? Well as it turns out Brian did a great job! Just another story I had to share.

  16. I am so glad you are ok. Your comments made me think of one of the Scriptures the Lord has brought to me lately - Psalm 73:25 and 26, esp 26 for you - My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever!


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