What do you think of when you hear of unwed teen moms? I confess I haven't given that subject much thought since I breathed a sigh of relief when my own three children walked down the aisle without babies in arms. My opinion changed last week when I spoke to Teen MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers).
Listening to their stories, hearing their concerns, and watching their pain-filled tears, I realized I had it all wrong when it came to teen pregnancy. These girls were precious. They loved their babies and lived to do the right thing. Some were abused by their parents. One found her father dead when she was four years old. Most didn't have nice things to say about the men who fathered their babies or the schools that rejected them or their peers who mocked them by deliberately pushing heavy objects into their blossoming bellies.
These girls sought love and found pain. Society's opinion of them lowered their already low self esteem. These young girls care for their little ones, look into their infant's eyes and pray their child will be free from the pain they feel.
What about us? What can we do to bring a splash of serenity into their impossible-to-imagine young lives? I applaud TeenMOPS and Pregnancy Care Centers who reach out and help. As Christians and as churches let's love these girls and their babies like Jesus loves them--unconditionally.
May the person who is without sin cast that first stone. Afterall, except by the grace of God go I. Praying for hurting girls whose greatest sin is their desire to be loved. May they find that love in us because Jesus lives in our hearts.
Splashes of Serenity,
Elaine
I had a similar wake up call the beginning of this year regarding abortion, which goes along with teen pregnancy/moms. You hit the nail on the head about the disdain we feel for girls who get pregnant before they are married but have heard preached 'never get abortion.' What's a girl to do when she feels rejected by the church that has told her to not get an abortion? Thankfully I have not seen this first hand in the churches we have been in, but it does exist. Praying for myself and others to love as Christ loves. Great post
ReplyDeleteThanks Jody, for your wonderful heart for young women. May God use us for His glory and good.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post!
ReplyDeleteI had a disagreement with a former pastor who listed expectant couples on the prayer request sheet, but refused to list unwed expectant mothers. This seemed to me totally wrong. They need our prayers as much, or more. Putting them on our prayer list does not "legitimize" what they have done. It opens our hearts to their needs.
ReplyDeleteElaine,
ReplyDeleteA very touching post. My junior year of high school one of my best friends became pregnant and has since, raised her son. It was a challenge and the rumors that surrounded her, and her friends were terrible. My senior year of high school, a second friend found her self in a similar situation yet recognized she wasn't ready to be a mom and blessed a couple in need. This was difficult also and the rumors continued. I felt terrible for my friends and then angry as some were waiting for the others in our group of girls, "to be next". It hurt. I pray our teens recognize the beauty in waiting and if they find themselves in a similar position as my friends, that their friends and parents stand by them - listening and loving them. That is what my friends needed and I was blessed to be there with each. It helped keep my head on too.
Lisa
Wonderful post, Elaine. We have quite a few teenage moms in our church and I love them so much.
ReplyDeleteElaine,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your post. (As always). Last year when I was working at the restaurant, I came into contact with several unwed mothers. They were all amazing. They loved their children so very much and worked many jobs to provide, and cried when they had to leave them with others so they could provide for them. Their stories were all so sad, and their hearts so soft. I am thankful to know these brave moms and wish others could appreciate their struggles and have compassion for them.
Lisa Hill
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ReplyDeleteThanks Elaine for the post! I am a leader of a ladies Bible study and a mom of two girls who became pregnant as teenagers. I relate to the pain, embarrassment, and judgment felt from the community and christian community as well(if not more). Thankfully there were many more christian friends loving and supporting us. My daughters love their babies and couldn't imagine life without them. They do still struggle as well, a common thread among teen moms. I have a heart for girls in this situation and glad you have addressed it. I have both your books, love them and love you!
ReplyDeleteNadine, thank you for sharing. I didn't know about your girls. Praying for them and their sweet babies and their amazing grandma. You know, my heart touches yours. You taught me much about Christ in Bible study years ago. I thank God for you.
ReplyDeleteThis is really an amazing post!
ReplyDeleteThe church should be the safe haven for these young women... AND for the young fathers. We need to open our arms to the hurting, as Jesus did. Reaching out to these young people in their time of need is not the same as condoning unwed sex.
ReplyDeleteThank you Elaine for a brave and beautiful post.
This week I attended a lovely baby shower--in a church--for a new mother who is un-wed. Christ's unconditional love was felt.
ReplyDeleteThe church needs to be a safe haven for ALL PEOPLE, regardless of the choices they have made...what draws them to the church is the Love of Christ - unconditional - that they have heard of. Some people have chosen abortions, for many and varied reasons, most of which we will never understand. Does that make them unlovable by God? NO!!!...We, as a Christian community, need to be careful how we approach this topic, because we are called to minister to the sinner, not to condemn or further abuse them. Having said all that, I applaud all young women who were able to say YES to life for their unborn children, and YOU ARE LOVED.
ReplyDeleteElaine, I am a labor and delivery nurse. I have seen SO many of these teen moms in labor. Often the fob (father of baby) is not there or is very self absorbed. Often the man ditches the girl when he learns she is pregnant. I've even had girls labor and deliver all by themselves because no one cared enough to be w/ them. It is so sad. It is no wonder some of these girls are pregnant. They are looking for love- but in the wrong places. They need people to care for them and help them.
ReplyDeleteI for one can relate. I am not a teen mom but in my thirties. It hurts me to see not just teen pregnant but single mother's being judged because of being pregnant.A lot of people are lost in today's society and could the word of god. I am blessed by a wonderful man which is a daddy and future husband.Yes we should of waited but that wasn't in God's plan.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment, Mandi. God has blessed you with a beautiful daughter. I'm so glad your man is wonderful.May you always know your Heavenly Father's love as well. And may your precious girl know the love of Jesus in her heart. Hugs from me to you, dear Mandi.
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