Wednesday, September 29, 2010

A Widow for a Week

I've been a widow for a week. My marriage bed is empty. I now hug his pillow. The house isn't as dirty. Laundry is less. I've lost two pounds because meat and potatoes aren't on my menu. The remote is in my hands. The toilet seat is down. My heart aches for the man I've shared life with for 40 years.

I'm not alone. Many women live through the reality of the death of a spouse. For those going through the difficult and lonely days of widowhood, I recommend my dear friend Ferree Hardy's blog Ferree survived the early and sudden death of her husband. Her heart's passion is to help others through the most difficult times of their lives.

My widowhood ends tomorrow as Dan returns from a Montana fly-fishing trip with our son--a trip they dreamed about for years. I'll welcome my man home, sleep in his arms, realize how precious is the smell of his dirty laundry, cook some meat and potatoes, and hand him the remote. Each day with him is a gift to treasure for we never know when that gift may be taken away.

I'm thankful for people like Ferree who knows suffering and uses her pain to help others and glorify God. If you aren't a widow, I suspect you know a widow. Please bless her by directing her to Ferree's blog.

May we be a splash of serenity to our husbands each day of their lives,



  1. Good reminder. My husband travels a lot for work and I need to have my heart ache for him more. :O)

  2. Oh my goodness I was shocked when I first read this wondering how I could've missed such terrible news.
    Im so glad he's coming home to you! But you're puts things in perspective.Like how we should love those annoying little things instead of letting them build a wall.
    Sarah(Friend of Val Day & Amy Stock)

  3. Sarah and Diane, I am so glad you love your husbands. They are gifts to treasure. Be blessed by your love.

  4. Elaine- visiting over from Diane's place (she gifted my with your book and I have been blessed beyond measure!)
    Thanks for the perspective. My husband travels a lot and we spend the majority of our time apart, yet when I look at my friend whose husband was just in Afganistan for a year or the one who is unexpectedly alone...I will gladly hand over his remote and take the smaller half of the bed. :)

  5. Alicia, your post made me cry. Thank you for telling me you were blessed beyond measure by my book. What a thrill to hear. As I read your post, I believe there is a writer dwelling within you. Let's keep in touch. Be blessed by your love.

  6. Elaine,

    That was a beautiful reminder of why I have laundry and cleaning to do each day - because God blessed me with a husband. Your words were both eloquent and precise - touching my heart and desires - I'll be more thankful when I pick those dirty socks up off the floor next to the couch or bed for now on. Thank you!

  7. Dear Elaine, Thank you mentioning Widows Christian Place today and all your kind words. Yes, cherish your husband, walk together in love and kindness, and know that when God takes either one of you home, there's new life ahead. Widowhood is a harsh land to walk through but the moments of beauty are breathtaking and God's grace is as lavish as the pain is deep. God bless you my sister in Christ and have a blessed reunion with your husband tomorrow! On Friday I will have the profound privilege of attending the wedding of a widow who reads my blog! Photos on Monday! Yay!

  8. Elaine, my heart was bleeding for you when I first began the reading. So glad you're husband is/has coming home to you. My hubby & I are seldom separated for long (hrs at the most) but I can imagine how devastated I'd be w/out him. Thanks for the reminder that God gave me a wonderful jewel, and to treasure him even more.

  9. Ferree is writing a book for widows. You can see from her above post that she has a gift with words and a heart of mercy. Thanks, Ferree.

    Caroline, Thank you for your comments. If your husband is a jewel, I suspect you are a gem! Keep shining!

  10. Happy Birthday! Thanks for sharing your birthday poem - a great way to use your gifting while also having some fun. Your next book could be titled " day a year! A collection." by Elaine Miller :) lol - I like the idea of celebrating our birth and blessing of life with a poem - I'll have to remember this in August of 2011. :) Enjoy... Lisa


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